Thursday, March 30, 2006

Twenty songs from 1989

Wherein More Details are available


Chicago? Donna Summer? Alice Cooper? Hey, the 70s called and they want their malaise back.

I like Bette Midler, but can’t give her a pass on this one. My father-in-law went to grade school with Bette Midler, maybe I should scan a picture.

Saw Anita Baker in concert. She showed up about an hour late, dunk off her ass. Still sang well. She has this thing where she holds her arms out and spins around...kinda like an airplane. Don't know if she normally does this or if it was the booze talking.

Grade: C-

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1989
1. Look Away, Chicago
2. My Prerogative, Bobby Brown
3. Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison
4. Straight Up, Paula Abdul
5. Miss You Much, Janet Jackson
6. Cold Hearted, Paula Abdul
7. Wind Beneath My Wings, Bette Midler
8. Girl You Know Its True, Milli Vanilli
9. Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird, Will To Power
10. Giving You The Best That I Got, Anita Baker
91. Poison, Alice Cooper
92. This Time I Know It's For Real, Donna Summer
93. Smooth Criminal, Michael Jackson
94. Heavan Help Me, Deon Estus
95. Rock Wit'cha, Bobby Brown
96. Thinking Of You, Safire
97. What You Don't Know, Expose
98. Surrender To Me, Ann Wilson and Robin Zander
99. The End Of The Innocence, Don Henley
100. Keep On Movin', Soul II Soul

Twenty songs from 1988

Wherein More Details are available
Who knew from Wham! that George Michael could bring some game.
Grade: C-

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1988
1. Faith, George Michael
2. Need You Tonight, INXS
3. Got My Mind Set On You, George Harrison
4. Never Gonna Give You Up, Rick Astley
5. Sweet Child O' Mine, Guns N' Roses
6. So Emotional, Whitney Houston
7. Heaven Is A Place On Earth, Belinda Carlisle
8. Could've Been, Tiffany
9. Hands To Heaven, Breathe
10. Roll With It, Steve Winwood
91. Kissing A Fool, George Michael
92. Cherry Bomb, John Cougar Mellancamp
93. I Still Believe, Brenda K. Starr
94. I Found Someone, Cher
95. Never Tear Us Apart, INXS
96. Valerie, Steve Windwood
97. Just Like Paradise, David Lee Roth
98. Nothin' But A Good Time, Poison
99. Wait, White Lion
100. Prove Your Love, Taylor Dayne

Twenty songs from 1987

Wherein More Details are available
About the only thing to say about 1987 is it isn't 1986. Rock on. Or, apparently, not. I'm much more a fan of the Bangles first album, it was much more soulful than the overproduced "Walk Like an Egyptian."

Trying to remember if it was 1987 that I saw Bob Seger. Pretty sure it was earlier in the decade but screw it, this year needs a story. Jason took a bus down from St. Cloud State for a Bob Seger. Afterwards, I took everyone to Duffy's for drinks and Jason dragged us out of there in a hurry because he said some guy hit on him. Then we dropped him off at the Greyhound station for his bus ride back and some guy was killed in a knife fight.

Grade D

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1987
1. Walk Like An Egyptian, Bangles
2. Alone, Heart
3. Shake You Down, Gregory Abbott
4. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me), Whitney Houston
5. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, Starship
6. C'est La Vie, Robbie Nevil
7. Here I Go Again, Whitesnake
8. The Way It Is, Bruce Hornsby and the Range
9. Shakedown, Bob Seger
10. Livin' On A Prayer, Bon Jovi
91. Victory, Kool and The Gang
92. Don't Get Me Wrong, Pretenders
93. Doing It All For My Baby, Huey Lewis and The News
94. Right On Track, Breakfast Club
95. Ballerina Girl, Lionel Richie
96. Meet Me Half Way, Kenny Loggins
97. I've Been In Love Before, Cutting Crew
98. (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right To Party, Beastie Boys
99. Funkytown, Pseudo Echo
100. Love You Down, Ready For The World

Twenty songs from 1986

Wherein More Details are available


Hell is 1986.

Grade: F F F F F F F F F

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1986
1. That's What Friends Are For, Dionne Warwick, Elton John, and Gladys Knight
2. Say You, Say Me, Lionel Richie
3. I Miss You, Klymaxx
4. On My Own , Patti Labelle and Michael McDonald
5. Broken Wings, Mr. Mister
6. How Will I Know, Whitney Houston
7. Party All The Time, Eddie Murphy
8. Burning Heart, Survivor
9. Kyrie, Mr. Mister
10. Addicted To Love, Robert Palmer
91. Your Wildest Dreams, Moody Blues
92. Spies Like Us, Paul McCartney
93. Object Of My Desire, Starpoint
94. Dreamtime, Daryl Hall
95. Tender Love, Force M.D.'s
96. King For A Day, Thompson Twins
97. Love Will Conquer All, Lionel Richie
98. A Different Corner, George Michael
99. I'll Be Over You, Toto
100. Go Home, Stevie Wonder

Twenty songs from 1985

Wherein More Details are available


Ah, the year Sheena Easton becomes a scuzzy Prince skank. I’ve waffled on Madonna over the years. Finally concluded her early releases are decent. Like a Virgin is a witty song, but she lost me when she tried to sing in Dick Tracy. Stephen Sondheim did the music and that role should have gone to Bernadette Peters. End. Of. Discussion.

No idea who I saw in concert. Lots of local bands like the Wallets and Urban Guerillas, plus just hanging out at First Avenue or Duffys. Ended up with some seriously effed up roommates and I consider myself lucky not to have been the innocent bystander gunned down during a drug raid.

I never like Born in the USA and I've never been much of a Springsteen fan. Just throwing that out there.

Grade: C

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1985
1. Careless Whisper, Wham!
2. Like A Virgin, Madonna
3. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, Wham!
4. I Want To Know What Love Is, Foreigner
5. I Feel For You, Chaka Khan
6. Out Of Touch, Daryl Hall and John Oates
7. Everybody Wants To Rule The World, Tears For Fears
8. Money For Nothing, Dire Straits
9. Crazy For You, Madonna
10. Take On Me, A-Ha
91. Jungle Of Love, The Time
92. Born In The USA, Bruce Springsteen
93. Private Dancer, Tina Turner
94. Who's Zoomin' Who, Aretha Franklin
95. Fortress Around Your Heart, Sting
96. Penny Lover, Lionel Richie
97. All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Don Henley
98. Dress You Up, Madonna
99. Sentimental Street, Night Ranger
100. Sugar Walls, Sheena Easton

Labels:

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Twenty Songs from 1984

Wherein More Details are available


Paul McCartney is responsible for more popular bad music than anyone else in the history of music. Should’ve taken his instruments away and made him sit in the corner a long time ago.

This is probably about the time when I began referring to Phil Collins as the white Lionel Richie and Lionel Richie as the black Phil Collins. Put them both in a sack and throw them off the bridge. No, you don’t need any help, they’re lightweight enough for one person.

I swear, Boy George is singing “become a comedian.” That’s what I hear. Van Halen makes the list with Jump. The definitive version of that song is by Aztec Camera. Must of been before they got all boring.

Forgot I went to a Yes concert that year. Paul, Dave and I snuck down to the floor, found some seats by some cute girls who drove over from some small college in Wisconsin. Unfortunately, that story pretty much ends there, though it was so close. Damn her sensible friends who insisted they really needed to get back for class the next morning. Sensible did not describe my friends and me. Dave got sick and while he was off in the restrooms vomiting up 4 gallons of alcohol, Paul and I thought it would be hilarious to sneak off and ditch him. Because we were also drunk. But we didn't, so I guess that means we were sensible.

Also remember seeing Lou Reed, Rickie Lee Jones, Thomas Dolby, and Golden Earring. Golden Earring is memorable because I had ridden the Minnesota Ironman earlier that day, my first 100 mile bike ride. Held the last Sunday in April, that year's ride started with temperatures in the low 40s and finished in a freezing rain with a 20 mph headwind, and ten inches of snow by Monday morning. For 1985, if was sunny and in the mid 70s. Ahh, Minnesota in the Spring.

The only thing keeping this from being an F are the first two songs.

Grade: D

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1984
1. When Doves Cry, Prince
2. What's Love Got To Do With It, Tina Turner
3. Say Say Say, Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
4. Footloose, Kenny Loggins
5. Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now), Phil Collins
6. Jump, Van Halen
7. Hello, Lionel Richie
8. Owner Of A Lonely Heart, Yes
9. Ghostbusters, Ray Parker Jr.
10. Karma Chameleon, Culture Club
91. Got A Hold On Me, Christine McVie
92. Dancing In The Sheets, Shalamar
93. Undercover Of The Night, Rolling Stones
94. On The Dark Side, John Cafferty and The Beaver Brown Band
95. New Moon On Monday, Duran Duran
96. Major Tom (Coming Home), Peter Schilling
97. Magic, Cars
98. When You Close Your Eyes, Night Ranger
99. Rock Me Tonite, Billy Squier
100. Yah Mo B There, James Ingram and Michael McDonald

Twenty songs from 1983

Wherein More Details are available
The video for Total Eclipse Of The Heart still creeps me out. Anyone remember thinking “Asia, these guys should be great!”? Yeah, we were pretty stupid. And the only representation ska gets is Musical Youth...so sad.

My first trip to First Avenue was for a Tina Turner concert. At that time still touring as a 60s revival act even though she was promoting a new album. Packed the house out (about 2,000 people) and the average age of the crowd was probably about my age now. Slow and easy, hard and rough, she worked us over. Six months later, Private Dancer is a hit and she's selling out 15,000 seat stadiums.

Also saw a concert of Public Image, Bow Wow Wow, and Jah Wobble. For years I thought Jah Wobble was the group and not a guy. For some reason, a bunch of my friends who hated this music went with me.

Grade: C

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1983
1. Every Breath You Take, Police
2. Billie Jean, Michael Jackson
3. Flashdance... What A Feelin, Irene Cara
4. Down Under, Men At Work
5. Beat It, Michael Jackson
6. Total Eclipse Of The Heart, Bonnie Tyler
7. Maneater, Daryl Hall and John Oates
8. Baby Come To Me, Patti Austin and James Ingram
9. Maniac, Michael Sembello
10. Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This), Eurythmics
91. Pass The Dutchie, Musical Youth
92. True, Spandau Ballet
93. Far From Over, Frank Stallone
94. I've Got A Rock 'N' Roll Heart, Eric Clapton
95. It Might Be You, Stephen Bishop
96. Tonight I Celebrate My Love, Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack
97. You Got Lucky, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
98. Don't Cry, Asia
99. Breaking Us In Two, Joe Jackson
100. Fall In Love With Me, Earth, Wind and Fire

Twenty songs from 1982

Wherein More Details are available


Family vacation somewhere on Georgian Bay in 1983. The only radio station we could pick up, I swear to god, played Eye of the Tiger five times an hour. Canadian broadcasting rule that a certain amount of the programming had to be Canadian, so they'd play it a couple times an hour, then they'd play it as one of the most requested songs of the hour, then they'd play it as the most requested song of the hour. I am a survivor. Almost made sitting in a small boat for 8 hours freezing my ass off fun.

Interesting that Air Supply doesn’t make the top 10 for 1981 or 1982 as that’s all I remember hearing. Steve Miller was a good band before they started chasing New Wave.

1982 was a big shift in music for me. Started to drift away from the classic rock stations and was searching for more punk and new wave. A friend gave me a Boston album for a birthday present and I played Bow Wow Wow, Grandmaster Flash, and Yaz instead. don’t push me close I’m close to the edge I’m trying not to lose my head uh uh uh uh

Concerts: Foreigner (Foreigner 4, the jukebox hero tour) and J. Geils. J. Geils kicks serious concert ass and I'd consider them one of the finest bands of the 1970s.

Grade: D

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1982
1. Physical, Olivia Newton-John
2. Eye Of The Tiger, Survivor
3. I Love Rock N' Roll, Joan Jett and The Blackhearts
4. Ebony And Ivory, Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
5. Centerfold, J. Geils Band
6. Don't You Want Me, Human League
7. Jack And Diane, John Cougar
8. Hurts So Good, John Cougar
9. Abracadabra, Steve Miller Band
10. Hard To Say I'm Sorry, Chicago
91. Kids In America, Kim Wilde
92. Man On Your Mind, Little River Band
93. What's Forever For, Michael Murphy
94. Waiting On A Friend, Rolling Stones
95. Do I Do, Stevie Wonder
96. Working For The Weekend, Loverboy
97. Goin' Down, Greg Guidry
98. Arthur's Theme, Christopher Cross
99. Through The Years, Kenny Rogers
100. Edge Of Seventeen, Stevie Nicks

Twenty Songs from 1981

Wherein More Details are available


Like 1980, mostly retreads with a couple interesting ripples. Just a reminder, that Rick Springfield first charted in 1972; I don't mind Jessie's Girl, but everything else of his makes my left eye twitch. And I can’t explain it, I Love a Rainy Night is fun to listen to.

First concert I went to was REO Speedwagon, with .38 Special opening. I slept through half the concert and have never again listened to Speedwagon. Or, .38 Special, come to think of it. I blame my friends. After high school concerts were much better when I ditched my friends and went on my own.

I miss the Kenny Rogers chicken restaurants.

Grade: B-

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1981
1. Bette Davis Eyes, Kim Carnes
2. Endless Love, Diana Ross and Lionel Richie
3. Lady, Kenny Rogers
4. (Just Like) Starting Over, John Lennon
5. Jessie's Girl, Rick Springfield
6. Celebration, Kool and The Gang
7. Kiss On My List, Daryl Hall and John Oates
8. I Love A Rainy Night, Eddie Rabbitt
9. 9 To 5, Dolly Parton
10. Keep On Loving You, REO Speedwagon
91. Suddenly, Olivia Newton-John and Cliff Richard
92. For Your Eyes Only, Sheena Easton
93. The Beach Boys Medley, Beach Boys
94. Whip It, Devo
95. Modern Girl, Sheena Easton
96. Really Wanna Know You, Gary Wright
97. Seven Year Ache, Rosanne Cash
98. I'm Coming Out, Diana Ross
99. Miss Sun, Boz Scaggs
100. Time Is Time, Andy Gibb

Twenty songs from 1980

Wherein More Details are available


A fairly moribund year. Plenty of 70s holdouts with just a few flashes that maybe the 80s would be interesting.

From lileks: "That's what radio was like in 1980: they had to dumb down "Call Me" to make it palatable."

Grade: C

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1980
1. Call Me, Blondie
2. Another Brick In The Wall, Pink Floyd
3. Magic, Olivia Newton-John
4. Rock With You, Michael Jackson
5. Do That To Me One More Time, Captain and Tennille
6. Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Queen
7. Coming Up, Paul McCartney
8. Funkytown, Lipps, Inc.
9. It's Still Rock And Roll To Me, Billy Joel
10. The Rose, Bette Midler
91. Give Me The Night, George Benson
92. Broken Hearted Me, Anne Murray
93. You Decorated My Life, Kenny Rogers
94. Tusk, Fleetwood Mac
95. I Wanna Be Your Lover, Prince
96. In America, Charlie Daniels Band
97. Breakdown Dead Ahead, Boz Scaggs
98. Ships, Barry Manilow
99. All Night Long, Joe Walsh
100. Refugee, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers

Henry Gale is so screwed

Wherein I knew Sayid would dig up the grave

Found at Throwing Things is a link to screen capture of the Blast door map.

Also found here is that the person buying the home Locke inspected is Sayid's Nadia.

Another look at the map

More later...

Stupid people of the week

Wherein God must love'em 'cause there sure are enough of 'em


Steve Ballmer:
Q: Do you have an iPod?
A: No, I do not. Nor do my children. My children--in many dimensions they're as poorly behaved as many other children, but at least on this dimension I've got my kids brainwashed: You don't use Google, and you don't use an iPod.

College Student lives in Walmart for 41 hours. Must of been easy to avoid detection with his amazingly advanced intellect. Look how his superior skills of language completely befuddle the store manager:
"He said, 'Didn't I see you over by the magazines, like, five hours ago?' I told him, 'Maybe,"' Bartels said.

Tuttle's city manager Jerry Taylor threatened to call the FBI because he doesn't understand what an operating system is. Seriously, what do you expect from someone whose bio is in Comic Sans. CentOS has the full exchange. Snippet:
I am computer literate! I have 22 years in computer systems engineering and operation. Now, can you tell me how to remove "your software" that you acknowledge you provided free of charge? I consider this "hacking". I have no fear of the media, in fact I welcome this publicity.
Heh, tuttled indeed.

Terica Washington and anyone else who called the FBI over a sky banner advertising a movie:
The most memorable moment of Terica Washington's 30th birthday Monday was looking into the sky and seeing an airplane towing a black banner with words written in white: "6/6/06 You have been warned".

She was alarmed enough to call the FBI.

"It made me feel really creepy, especially in this day and age," said Washington, who works at Ocean Walk Resort. Noting that June 6 is a Tuesday, she drew the connection to Sept. 11, 2001, also a Tuesday.

"I thought it might be terrorists," she said.

Emergency service agencies received several complaints about the banner. And the Volusia County Sheriff's Office investigated it -- and discovered Thursday the banner is promoting a new movie from Twentieth Century Fox. A remake of "The Omen" is scheduled to be released June 6.


Lorain school officials who performed an emergency removal to kick an 8-year-old out of school for sexual harassment:
The boy's mother, Tammy Barth, said yesterday her son was playing in gym on Tuesday when a girl student said he and two other boys may have grabbed her buttocks.

He was then questioned in an informal hearing by school officials and he admitted he had been passing love notes to the same girl.

The second-grader then asked to sign a notice of emergency removal form for sexual harassment without a parent present, Barth said. The boy printed his first name on the portion of the form asking for his signature.

School documents provided by Barth and the boy's father, Frank Johnson, did not give specifics on the incident but showed that the second-grader was removed from school on Tuesday for ''sexual harassment during gym.'' It also states the student ''admits to writing notes saying 'I love you' and giving them to a student.''

Best comment on Hit and Run:
Anybody who assumes sexual content in an 8-year-old's "I love you" note is a sick fucking pervert who should not be allowed around children.
Comment by: Jennifer at March 28, 2006 04:00 PM

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Lost podcast 3/28/06: Lockdown

Wherein I present six bullet points


  • Written by Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse.
  • "A couple huge pieces of mythology in this episode."
  • "We're closing some doors, opening some others."
  • Hinting we'll soon find the truth about Henry Gale.
  • "Sets in motion the last act of the season."
  • Hanso Foundation website is down for remodeling. An internet project will start in May. You'll have to watch the show and what happens in between the show - between the acts of the show. This internet experience will launch during the show in May. It will be a pathway that will lead to a lot of information about the show that we won't get to on the show. It's not behind the scenes stuff either. It's cool mythology, it's real storytelling. We hope it will satisfy the desire for new material over the summer.

Additional thoughts:
  1. This internet project thing sounds interesting, but personally I'm afraid they're asking for more of a commitment than I'm willing to invest. I love the show and don't mind checking out a couple sites to discuss plots and theories; however, a summer long goose chase over the internet is not something I have any interest in. If the only way I will understand what's going on in Episode 1 of Season 3 is to spend 5 hours a week deciphering puzzles, then I'm jumping off the train right now.
  2. Sounds like this project mainly involves the Hanso Foundation. If so, I'm assuming we will know quite a bit more about Hanso as this season ends. Possibly even why the Lostaways are on the island. I think we'll learn what about all six hatches. Going back to the Zeke Ethan hallway conversation in What Claire Saw, I think we'll find that Desmond is the superior they were talking about - he was still in the hatch at that time. I'm not puzzling out the connection, but I think the important thread holding everyone together is Desmond and Jack.
  3. These might change after tonight's episode, but here's my two most likely farfetched predictions for how this season will end:
    • Everything has occurred as seen and either the crash was accidental or created by Hanso. Either way, the show ends with the Lostaways thinking they've been rescued, but in the cliffhanger, we find out it's just another aspect of Hanso and this ain't good.
    • Plane did crash and everyone is in a coma. This Hanso business is just an advanced medical study to help cure coma victims. The Lostaways are being led through subconcious tasks to enable them to regain their conciousness.

  4. It was previously reported that Darren Aronofsky would be the director for Lockdown. This is incorrect. He is busy on a movie and hasn't had the time.

This Snakes on the Plane thing

Wherein I prepare you for disappointment

You all do realize that Snakes on the Plane is just an elaborate April Fools Day prank, don't you? It is brilliant, so I'm just warning you.

But you still should read the Treacher cartoon

1980 decade overview

Wherein Gary had a boner until his girlfriend insisted they see Mannequin


More Details are available

Best year: 1981 (B-)
Worst year: 1986 (F)

Here are the most represented artists:
Hall and Oates - 4
George Michael/Wham - 5
Lionel Richie - 5
Michael Jackson - 5
Paul McCartney - 4

Subtracting the mostly harmless Hall and Oates and two surprisingly good George Michael songs, look what’s left. A decade that saw punk’s second generation, rap and the birth of hip hop, and the rebirth of funk and R&B, is represented by Lionel Richie, Michael Jackson, and Paul McCartney. Paul McCartney is responsible for so much bad music this decade that he completely burned up any credibility he had as a Beatle. We should all be ashamed at these results, because as sad as it is to admit, the music that most people bought in the 80s was far worse than the 70s. The thought of listening to Say You Say Me or Ebony and Ivory makes me nostalgic for Boogie Oogie Oogie and Kiss You All Over.

Pick a year
1980 C
1981 B-
1982 D
1983 C
1984 D
1985 C
1986 F
1987 D
1988 C-
1989 C-

Update:Here's a book I need to read Rip It Up and Start Again, Postpunk 1978-1984. This sounds like an excellent rundown of what was truly happening in the early 1980s.

And he has a pdf with additional background for the book. Here's a few quotes:
  • The ‘anything and everything except rock’ era died the day Julien Temple’s movie of Colin MacInnes’s Absolute Beginners (a project the London style media had a huge amount invested in, emotionally) came out and proved embarrassingly bad. The Style Council, naturally, were all over the soundtrack.
  • Postcard’s #3 group Aztec Camera went on to become one of the more boring bands of the last 20 years but in the beginning they created a couple of gems...
  • Sub-trend #1 within New Pop was ‘Funk’. Basslines, percussion, and horn sections suddenly became very crucial indeed. Dropping their synths for all three, Spandau Ballet produced the almost-great ‘Chant #1’ (several minus points though for the ‘rap’ mid-song about clubbing at New Romantic nightspots like Le Beat Route).
  • The unspoken argument of the Dark Things chapter is that the groups who inspired Goth were far superior to the Goth bands themselves.
  • Initially New Wave as a term was kind of cool: indeed some embraced it as an alternative to punk, seeing it as more open-ended and less lumpen on account of its evocations of the French avant-garde. But soon New Wave became a negative term, referring to the middlebrow soft option: bands who weren’t confrontational or aggressive like punk, but who were also too steeped in trad pop values (usually of Sixties provenance) to be regarded as experimental or modern a la post-punk. At its narrowest and most pejorative, New Wave came to connote something quite particular: skinny-tie bands with choppy rhythm guitars and often a keyboard (played Sixties organ style as opposed to like a synth).

Monday, March 27, 2006

Rainforest Adventures: a review

Wherein the museum has many examples of puppetry from around the world, including videotape of Madame (& Wayland Flowers)


Advertised as "In less than one hour, you'll experience a day in the life of more than 30 exotic plants and animals in this vital ecosystem" the Center for Puppetry Arts Rainforest Adventures is a triumph of setting and tone. Lacking a narrative, or too typical need to teach a heavy-handed lesson, we catch glimpses of the animals in their environments with the only dialog being the monotone intonation of the animal or plant name. Mostly played matter-of-factly with the occasional bit of humor provided by a howler monkey, the play does not forego drama. A tapir wanders to closely to the river and is devoured by the crocodile; and later, in an epic battle, an anaconda defeats the crocodile -- reminiscent of this story -- though it received many laughs from the preschool portion of the audience.

Rainforest Adventures is performed in the style of Czech-black theater with the puppeteers in black and the puppets placed in front of a wall of light. If there was any fault with this it is that at many times the puppets were held too far back are were hard to see. Otherwise, an excellent mix of puppet styles and the after performance examples of how the puppets were used is always entertaining. Also worth mentioning is the clever use of a "magnifying glass" to show us the smaller animals. When we see leaves mysteriously moving across the tree trunk, the magnifying glass descends to reveal a line of ants.

Julie Dansby, as head puppeteer, leads a talented troupe that seamlessly runs around a two-level stage and always keeps something moving. Ms Dansby is a wonderful performer that we've seen a number of times around town, but none more memorable than in Wrestling MacBeth. I find it odd that the Center for Puppetry Arts has no information on this show, nor for many of their past shows.

I do need to note that while mostly successful in pulling us into the world of the rainforest, the show continually hit a false note that threatened to destroy the intended realism. I would think that artistic integrity would have insisted they mimic an authentic howler monkey, instead of a generic monkey voice that was used. I do not think insulting the majestic howler monkey is what they intended and I hope an apology will be issued.

Aside from this small instance of tin ear bigotry, Rainforest Adventures is one of their finer shows of the current season.

Jack Sparks remembers Buck Owens

Wherein Jack Sparks has been away too long


Jack writes:
Between 1963 and 1967, doing everything EXACTLY OPPOSITE of the way they were doing it in Nashville, Buck Owens had 15 number 1 Country songs.

He was a complex man, and eulogizing him in this space is difficult because he had an extreme distaste for being poor. Any part of the creative Buck that wasn't killed by Hee Haw, definitely died in 1974 with Don Rich in that motorcycle accident. He had some fun with Dwight Yoakam later in life, but the "fuck you" money he made by going on TV and slowly building his entertainment empire, stole the spark.

Make no mistake, though. What he did between 1963 and 1967 was pure.

read the rest

Next week we start on Diplomacy

Wherein Civilization, anyone? I have the original Avalon Hills board game


Amazing how smart and devious a four-year old can be. Earlier in the year, we’d picked up Kerplunk! as a birthday gift for one of her friends. Sitting on the table waiting to be wrapped, she wanted to play it, but took it well when we explained it was a gift. Told her maybe she’d get one for her birthday. Nothing else was said until a couple weeks later when it was mentioned her dad had a birthday coming up. She snuck off to her mom and whispered that maybe “we could get that game for daddy.” Great idea!

A few weeks go by, nothing else is said. Then the mother is heading out for some shopping. The child, once again, sneaks off to whisper that mom could “stop at Target and get that game with the balls and sticks.” But it’s not his birthday, yet. “That’s ok, we could play it tonight.”

And so we did. It’s a surprisingly suspenseful game and I could easily see adding shots of tequila to the rules. I think we’ll take it to the beach (St. Augustine) with us. Another fun game for a group of people I’ll take is this game. And maybe this or that (the German edition with an English copy of the rules. Probably need to pick up another fighter kite or two, as I destroyed one last year. The Flick looks nice and I do need some new linen line.

Friday, March 24, 2006

As long as it's organic, I'm fine with it. Can we chalk it up to ashes to ashes, dust to dust, that sort of thing?

Wherein a fight to death among heavy smokers and pasty vegans could be interesting. The smokers would be easy to catch, but I don't think the vegans would be strong enough to do any serious damage.

Waiter Rant heads to the health food store and realizes crazy customers are everywhere:
You know, this may be a health food store but many of the customers look pasty, thin, and weak – the very opposite of healthy. Some of them look like they’re five minutes from fertilizing one of those local organic farms.

I contrast the Soy People with the sleek carnivorous Yuppies who patronize my Bistro. In my little free associative rumination I compare them to Hitler and Stalin. Ideologically one guy was on the right and the other was on the left. But both men ended up dragging their people to the same hellish place. Unbridled free marketism versus dyspeptic utopianism. Ugh. It’s all the same shit in the end.

That, of course, is terribly unfair. There are nice Soy People just like there’s nice Yuppies. But I can’t help but notice how entitlement and self righteous certitude afflicts both groups.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Bad idea starting the day with a razor pressed against the jugular

Wherein the only worse than shaving is not shaving


Just realized that Ann Althouse was discussing beards and the attitudes towards. Of course this reminded me of another brilliant passage from Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon:

Randy Waterhouse is in merely decent physical condition. His doctor ritualistically tells him that he could lose twenty pounds, but it’s not obvious where that twenty pounds would actually come from—he has no beer gut, no flagrant love handles. The offending pounds seem to be spread evenly over his keglike torso. Or so he tells himself every morning, standing in front of the billboard-sized mirror of his suite. Randy and Charlene’s house in California contains practically no mirrors and he had lost track of what he looks like. Now he sees that he has become atavistically hairy, and his beard glints, because it is shot through with grey hairs.

Every day, he dares himself to shave that beard off. In the tropics, you want to have as much skin as possible exposed to the air, with sweat sheeting down it.

One evening when Avi and his family had been over for dinner, Randy had said, "I’m the beard, Avi’s the suit," as a way of explaining their business relationship, and from that point Charlene had been off and running. Charlene has recently finished a scholarly article, deconstructing beards. In particular, she was aiming at beard culture in the Northern California high-tech community—Randy’s crowd. Her paper began by demolishing, somehow, the assumption that beards were more "natural" or easier to maintain than clean-shavenness—she actually published statistics from Gillette’s research department comparing the amount of time that bearded and beardless men spent in the bathroom each day, proving that the difference was not statistically significant. Randy had any number of objections to the way in which these statistics were gathered, but Charlene was having none of it. "It is counterintuitive," she said.

She was in a big hurry to move on to the meat of her argument. She went up to San Francisco and bought a few hundred dollars’ worth of pornography at a boîte that catered to shaving fetishists. For a couple of weeks, Randy couldn’t come home in the evening without finding Charlene sacked out in front of the TV with a bowl of popcorn and a Dictaphone, watching a video of a straight razor being drawn along wet, soapy flesh. She taped a few lengthy interviews with some actual shaving fetishists who described in great detail the feeling of nakedness and vulnerability shaving gave them, and how erotic that was, especially when freshly shaved areas were slapped or spanked. She worked up a detailed comparison of the iconography of shaving-fetishist porn and that of shaving-product commercials shown on national TV during football games, and proved that they were basically indistinguishable (you could actually buy videotapes of bootleg shaving-cream and razor ads in the same places that sold the out-and-out pornography).

She pulled down statistics on racial variation in beard growth. American Indians didn’t grow beards, Asians hardly did, Africans were a special case because daily shaving gave them a painful skin condition. "The ability to grow heavy, full beards as a matter of choice appears to be a privilege accorded by nature solely to white males," she wrote.

Alarm bells, red lights, and screaming klaxons went off in Randy’s mind when he happened across that phrase.

"But this assertion buys into a specious subsumption. ‘Nature’ is a socially constructed discourse, not an objective reality [many footnotes here]. That is doubly true in the case of the ‘nature’ that accords full beards to the specific minority population of northern European males. Homo sapiens evolved in climatic zones where facial hair was of little practical use. The development of an offshoot of the species characterized by densely bearded males is an adaptive response to cold climates. These climates did not ‘naturally’ invade the habitats of early humans—rather, the humans invaded geographical regions where such climates prevailed. This geographical transgression was strictly a sociocultural event and so all physical adaptations to it must be placed in the same category—including the development of dense facial hair."

Charlene published the results of a survey she had organized, in which a few hundred women were asked for their opinions. Essentially all of them said that they preferred clean-shaven men to those who were either stubbly or bearded. In short order, Charlene proved that having a beard was just one element of a syndrome strongly correlated to racist and sexist attitudes, and to the pattern of emotional unavailability so often bemoaned by the female partners of white males, especially ones who were technologically oriented.

"The boundary between Self and Environment is a social con[struct]. In Western cultures this boundary is supposed to be sharp and distinct. The beard is an outward symbol of that boundary, a distancing technique. To shave off the beard (or any body hair) is to symbolically annihilate the (essentially specious) boundary separating Self from Other . . ."

And so on. The paper was rapturously received by the peer reviewers and immediately accepted for publication in a major international journal. Charlene is presenting some related work at the War as Text conference:

"Unshavenness as Signifier in World War II Movies." On the strength of her beard work, three different Ivy League schools are fighting over who will get to hire her.

Randy does not want to move to the East Coast. Worse yet, he has a full beard, which makes him feel dreadfully incorrect whenever he ventures out with her. He proposed to Charlene that perhaps he should issue a press release stating that he shaves the rest of his body every day. She did not think it was very funny. He realized, when he was halfway over the Pacific Ocean, that all of her work was basically an elaborate prophecy of the doom of their relationship.

Now he is thinking of shaving his beard off. He might do his scalp and his upper body, while he’s at it.


****************
Many chapters later, Randy and Charlene have parted ways and he is talking with potential future girlfriend, Amy:
"How about that thing that Charlene wrote about beards?" Amy asks.

"How did you know about that?"

"Looked it up on the Internet. Was that an example of how you guys worked out your problems? By publishing totally oblique academic papers blasting the other person?"

I hope they put a clip of this guy on the website

Wherein Operation Paperclip sounds almost as interesting as Gemstone


So I'm listening listening to Neal Boortz, or more accurately I'm wearing one earplug and the radio is tuned to Boortz, when I realize someone is shouting and it isn't Boortz. Nope, it's a caller. He's also not really shouting so much as just talking in all caps and it's a fascinating mix of conspiracy theories. As I wasn't really paying attention to the show I'm not sure what set him off, but Boortz, who has a pretty good ear for entertainment (regardless of his politics), just stepped back and let the guy rant for 2 minutes. I tried to make some notes and here's my best attempt at deciphering my writing:
WE ARE EXPERIENCING A RISE OF THE FOURTH REICH AND INFILTRATION OF NAZIS THROUGH OPERATION PAPERCLIP....THE WHOLE WAR ON TERROR IS DESIGNED TO BRING THE U.S. IN TO THE GLOBAL HEGEMONY.

PLANES DIDN'T HIT THE WORLD TRADE CENTER, IT WAS A CIA DRILL...FRAUD OF 9-11...THE PLACE THAT HIT THE PENTAGON IS A FARCE...THE GUY WHO SHOT DOWN THE PLANE IN PENNSYLVANIA WAS GIVEN A MEDAL.

WE ARE A JIHADIST NATION OURSELVES. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? THE BLOOD-THIRSTY RELIGION CALLED CHRISTIANITY...GEORGE BUSH IS A BONIFIDE SATAN-WORSHIPPER. HE'S A MEMBER OF THE BOHEMIAN GROVE AND SKULL AND CROSSBONES...REPUBLICAN CULTS...DEMOCRAT CULTS...

Neal Boortz: I have a break coming up, can you finish in 30 seconds?

NO I CAN'T, BUT I APPRECIATE THE FORUM.

He was polite.

It depends on what the definition of support is

Wherein I once spent a year or two working as a clipboard person trying to conduct market research interviews in the mall. Probably why I hate people



Icepick is simul-blogging a survey from the Republican Party. I've lost this week's score card so I can't remember if being a member of the republican party makes one A) A god-loving Patriot, or 2) a Jr. Nazi with a foot fetish. I'll check email, I'm sure someone has sent me talking points on this.

Until then, you should read the whole thing, but I'll tempt you with a couple quotes:
Do you support the use of air strikes against any country that offers safe harbor or aid to individuals or organizations committed to further attacks on America?

Answer: 'Yeah', baby! Let's blow their asses up! Let's film it and sell the movie rights to defray the cost of the operations.

Do you continue to support increasing the amount of security at airports, train stations and all government buildings including monuments and museums?

Answer: Trick question! There's a difference between increasing the amount of security, and improving security. Increasing bad security measures isn't that helpful. Plus, it's a damn shame that so many public buildings are becoming less and less accessible. (This last bit predates both 9/11 and the current administration.) So let's check 'No'.

Do you think that teaching our children to read and increasing literacy rates should be a national priority?

Answer: Okay, what dolt ISN'T going to say 'Yes'? And if we get improved literacy, then perhaps the pollsters won't write such horrible sentences as the one in the question. Shouldn't that be 'national priorities'?

Do you support the election of Republican candidates across the country and rebuilding our majorities over the next ten years?

Answer: 'No'. That can be changed to a 'Yes', but only if the party returns to some sane principles concerning the size of the government, the scope of the government, and fiscal policy. Otherwise, why the hell should I care?

He's good to catch the trickiness of many of these questions. On his last answer there, what's this "only if the party returns to some sane principles..."? Returns? That's assuming an awful lot. I don't recall any party practicing "sane principles" about the size of government. Sure, they'll talk a good game when they're the minority party, but once in charge they become Emily Litella.

A memo from Fedland

Wherein Y.T.'s mom is about to be probed


From Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash.

NEW TP POOL REGULATIONS
I've been asked to distribute the new regulations regarding office pool displays. The enclosed memo is a new subchapter of the EBGOC Procedure Manual, replacing the old subchapter entitled PHYSICAL PLANT/CALIFORNIA/ LOS ANGELES/BUILDINGS/OFFICE AREAS/PHYSICAL LAYOUT REGULATIONS/EMPLOYEE INPUT/ GROUP ACTIVITIES.

The old subchapter was a flat prohibition on the use of office space or time for "pool" activities of any kind, whether permanent (e.g., coffee pool) or one-time (e.g., birthday parties).

This prohibition still applies, but a single, one-time exception has now been made for any office that wishes to pursue a joint bathroom-tissue strategy.

By way of introduction, let me just make a few general comments on this subject. The problem of distributing bathroom tissue to workers presents inherent challenges for any
office management system due to the inherent unpredictability of usage-not every facility usage transaction necessitates the use of bathroom tissue, and when it is used, the amount needed (number of squares) may vary quite widely from person to person and, for a given person, from one transaction to the next. This does not even take into account the occasional use of bathroom tissue for unpredictable/creative purposes such as applying/removing cosmetics, beverage-spill management, etc. For this reason, rather than trying to package bathroom tissue in small one-transaction packets (as is done with premoistened towelettes, for example), which can be wasteful in some cases and limiting in other cases, it has been traditional to package this product in bulk distribution units whose size exceeds the maximum amount of squares that an individual could conceivably use in a single transaction (barring force majeure). This reduces to a minimum the number of transactions in which the distribution unit is depleted (the roll runs out) during the transaction, a situation that can lead to emotional stress for the affected employee.

However, it does present the manager with some challenges in that the distribution unit is rather bulky and must be repeatedly used by a number of different individuals if it is not to be wasted.

Since the implementation of Phase XVII of the Austerity Program, employees have been allowed to bring their own bathroom tissue from home. This approach is somewhat bulky and redundant, as every worker usually brings their own roll.

Some offices have attempted to meet this challenge by instituting bathroom-tissue pools.
Without overgeneralizing, it may be stated that an inherent and irreducible feature of any bathroom-tissue pool implemented at the office level, in an environment (i.e., building) in which comfort stations are distributed on a per-floor basis (i.e., in which several offices share a single facility) is that provision must be made within the confines of the individual office for temporary stationing of bathroom tissue distribution units (i.e., rolls). This follows from the fact that if the BTDUs (rolls) are stationed, while inactive, outside of the purview of the controlling office (i.e., the office that has collectively purchased the BTDU)-that is, if the BTDUS are stored, for example, in a lobby area or within the facility in which they are actually utilized, they will be subject to pilferage and "shrinkage" as unauthorized persons consume them, either as part of a conscious effort to pilfer or out of an honest misunderstanding, i.e., a belief that the BTDUs are being provided free of charge by the operating agency (in this case the United States Government), or as the result of necessity, as in the case of a beverage spill that is encroaching on sensitive electronic equipment and whose management will thus brook no delay. This fact has led certain offices (which shall go unnamed-you know who you are, guys) to establish makeshift BTDU depots that also serve as pool-contribution collection points. Usually, these depots take the form of a table, near the door closest to the facility, on which the BTDUs are stacked or otherwise deployed, with a bowl or some other receptacle in which participants may place their contributions, and typically with a sign or other attention-getting device (such as a stuffed animal or cartoon) requesting donations. A quick glance at the current regulations will show that placement of such a display/depot violates the procedure manual. However, in the interests of employee hygiene, morale, and group spirit-building, my higher-ups have agreed to make a one-time exception in the regulations for this purpose.

As with any part of the procedure manual, new or old, it is your responsibility to be thoroughly familiar with this material. Estimated reading time for this document is 15.62 minutes (and don't think we won't check). Please make note of the major points made in this document, as follows:
  1. BTDU depot/displays are now allowed, on a trial basis, with the new policy to be reviewed in six months.
  2. These must be operated on a voluntary, pool-type basis, as described in the subchapter on employee pools. (Note: This means keeping books and tallying all financial transactions.)
  3. BTDUS must be brought in by the employees (not shipped through the mailroom) and are subject to all the usual search-and-seizure regulations.
  4. Scented BTDUs are prohibited as they may cause allergic reactions, wheezing, etc. in some persons.
  5. Cash poo1 donations, as with all monetary transactions within the U.S. Government, must
  6. use official U.S. currency-no yen or Kongbucks.


Naturally, this will lead to a bulk problem if people try to use the donation bucket as a dumping ground for bundles of old billion and trillion dollar bills. The Buildings and Grounds people are worried about waste-disposal problems and the potential fire hazard that may ensue if large piles of billions and trillions begin to mount up. Therefore, a key feature of the new regulation is that the donation bucket must be emptied every day-more often if an excessive build-up situation is seen to develop.

In this vein, the B & C people would also like me to point out that many of you who have excess U.S. currency to get rid of have been trying to kill two birds with one stone by using old billions as bathroom tissue. While creative, this approach has two drawbacks:

1) It clogs the plumbing, and
2) It constitutes defacement of U.S. currency, which is a federal crime.

DON'T DO IT.
Join your office bathroom-tissue pool instead. It's easy, it's hygienic, and it's legal.

Happy pooling,
Marietta.

Y.T.'s mom pulls up the new memo, checks the time, and starts reading it. The estimated reading time is 15.62 minutes. Later, when Marietta does her end-of-day statistical roundup, sitting in her private office at 9:00 P.M., she will see the name of each employee and next to it, the amount of time spent reading this memo, and her reaction, based on the time spent, will go something like this:
  • Less than 10 mm. Time for an employee conference and possible attitude counseling.
  • 10-14 min. Keep an eye on this employee; may be developing slipshod attittide.
  • 14-15.61 mm. Employee is an efficient worker, may sometimes miss important details.
  • Exactly 15.62 mm. Smartass. Needs attitude counseling.
  • 15.63-16 mm. Asswipe. Not to be trusted.
  • 16-18 mm. Employee is a methodical worker, may sometimes get hung up on minor details.
  • More than 18 mm. Check the security videotape, see just what this employee was up to (e.g., possible unauthorized restroom break).


Y.T.'s mom decides to spend between fourteen and fifteen minutes reading the memo. It's better for younger workers to spend too long, to show that they're careful, not cocky. It's better for older workers to go a little fast, to show good management potential. She's pushing forty. She scans through the memo, hitting the Page Down button at reasonably regular intervals, occasionally paging back up to pretend to reread some earlier section. The computer is going to notice all this. It approves of rereading. It's a small thing, but over a decade or so this stuff really shows up on your work-habits summary.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Twenty songs from 1979

Wherein More Details are available

This is a fun year. Gotta respect a year that gets My Sharona to the top. Even most of the nongood songs hold up well and should get a smile from most people. Come on, Do ya think I’m sexy is freakin’ hilarious. (reading this four months after I wrote it, the "come on" is me channeling Job from the now canceled Arrested Development. Thought I should mention that as even I have a hard time remembering my cultural references).

Grade: B, for the shear volume of fun fluffy flufferness.

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1979
1. My Sharona, The Knack
2. Bad Girls, Donna Summer
3. Le Freak, Chic
4. Da Ya Think I'm Sexy, Rod Stewart
5. Reunited, Peaches and Herb
6. I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor
7. Hot Stuff, Donna Summer
8. Y.M.C.A., Village People
9. Ring My Bell, Anita Ward
10. Sad Eyes, Robert John
91. Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough, Michael Jackson
92. Bad Case Of Lovin' You, Robert Palmer
93. Somewhere In The Night, Barry Manilow
94. We've Got Tonite, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
95. Dance The Night Away, Van Halen
96. Dancing Shoes, Nigel Olsson
97. The Boss, Diana Ross
98. Sail On, Commodores
99. I Do Love You, G.Q.
100. Strange Way, Firefall

Twenty songs from 1978

Wherein More Details are available

Five songs from Andy Gibb and the Bee Gees...wonder what movie came out this year? For the record, Grease also charted this year. I’m guessing Three Times a Lady is when the Lionel Ritchie hatred started. Looks like this is the year disco crested.

Grade: C+

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1978
1. Shadow Dancing, Andy Gibb
2. Night Fever, Bee Gees
3. You Light Up My Life, Debby Boone
4. Stayin' Alive, Bee Gees
5. Kiss You All Over, Exile
6. How Deep Is Your Love, Bee Gees
7. Baby Come Back, Player
8. (Love Is) Thicker Than Water, Andy Gibb
9. Boogie Oogie Oogie, A Taste Of Honey
10. Three Times A Lady, Commodores
91. Native New Yorker, Odyssey
92. Flashlight, Parliament
93. Don't Look Back, Boston
94. Turn To Stone, Electric Light Orchestra
95. I Can't Stand The Rain, Eruption
96. Ebony Eyes, Bob Welch
97. The Name Of The Game, Abba
98. We're All Alone, Rita Coolidge
99. Hollywood Nights, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
100. Deacon Blues, Steely Dan

Twenty songs from 1977

Wherein More Details are available

This is all about the blandness of FM programming. And, come to think of it, 1977 might be the first year I listened to FM, after we moved to Sunrise, Florida. Sunrise was a cesspool of ignorant and rude people and we bugged out for Minnesota 10 months later. True fact: I went to Bair Middle school. That's funny! get it - “bare middle”!

This year bores me, let pick one good, one bad, and we’ll move on.

Grade: D (because I was in a bad mood that year)

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1977
1. Tonight's The Night, Rod Stewart
2. I Just Want To Be Your Everything, Andy Gibb
3. Best Of My Love, Emotions
4. Love Theme From "A Star Is Born", Barbra Streisand
5. Angel In Your Arms, Hot
6. I Like Dreamin', Kenny Nolan
7. Don't Leave Me This Way, Thelma Houston
8. (Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher And Higher, Rita Coolidge
9. Undercover Angel, Alan O'Day
10. Torn Between Two Lovers, Mary MacGregor
91. Whispering-Cherchez La Femme-C'est Si Bon, Dr. Buzzard's Original Savannah Band
92. Year Of The Cat, Al Stewart
93. Boogie Nights, Heatwave
94. Go Your Own Way, Fleetwood Mac
95. Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word, Elton John
96. Don't Worry Baby, B.J. Thomas
97. Knowing Me, Knowing You, Abba
98. How Much Love, Leo Sayer
99. Star Wars (Main Title), London Symphony Orchestra
100. Devil's Gun, C.J. and Co.

Twenty songs from 1976

Wherein More Details are available

Question for the Who - WTF is Squeezebox? We sang this a lot on the school bus and I think we felt we were singing something vaguely dirty. Thirty years later I’m not sure what’s going on. Anyone?

Because to be honest here, I’m thinking mama is nothing more than an accordian player with a sleeping disorder:
Mama's got a squeeze box she wears on her chest
And when Daddy comes home, he never gets no rest
'Cause she's playing all night and the music's all right
Mama's got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night

Well, the kids don't eat and the dog can't sleep
There's no escape from the music in the whole damn street
'Cause she's playing all night and the music's all right
Mama's got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night

She goes in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out
She's playing all night and the music's all right
Mama's got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night

On the other hand, there is no doubt what’s going on in Disco Lady:
Shake it up,
Shake it down;
move it in move it round,
disco lady
move it in move it out
move in and about disco lady.

Yep, she’s making jiffy pop popcorn.

Grade: B-

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1976
1. Silly Love Songs, Paul McCartney and Wings
2. Don't Go Breaking My Heart, Elton John and Kiki Dee
3. Disco Lady, Johnnie Taylor
4. December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night), Four Seasons
5. Play That Funky Music, Wild Cherry
6. Kiss And Say Goodbye, Manhattans
7. Love Machine (Part 1), The Miracles
8. 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover, Paul Simon
9. Love Is Alive, Gary Wright
10. A Fifth Of Beethoven, Walter Murphy and The Big Apple Band
91. Breaking Up's Hard To Do, Neil Sedaka
92. Money Honey, Bay City Rollers
93. Tear The Roof Off The Sucker, Parliament
94. Junk Food Junkie, Larry Groce
95. Tryin' To Get The Feeling Again, Barry Manilow
96. Rock And Roll All Nite, Kiss
97. Disco Duck, Rick Dees
97. The Boys Are Back In Town, Thin Lizzy
98. Take The Money And Run, Steve Miller Band
99. Squeeze Box, The Who
100. Country Boy (You Got Your Feet In L.A.), Glen Campbell

Twenty songs from 1975

Wherein More Details are available

I know I’m stepping away from the pack with this one, but Love Will Keep Us Together is a great song. Now part of this might be the memories - it reminds of spending the summer by the neighborhood pool. Still, despite any abuse that should deservedly be heaped upon the Captain and Tennille for their other atrocities, this should be excepted. Simple lyrics, simple instrumentation, yet a perfectly crafted pop song. On second thought, don’t look too closely at the lyrics, these seem a bit creepy:
Young and beautiful someday your looks will be gone;
When the others turn you off who'll be turning you on?
I will, I will, I will,


Kip Cohen, vice president of A&M, has more on Love Will Keep Us Together:
...played the song from a Neil Sedaka album. "I call it circus music," said Daryl. "I don't know if anyone else does. Remember that sort of happy feeling in Billy Swan's 'I Can Help'? It came through on his record, and that was my goal; I said, 'I wish we could make one just like his when we recorded 'Love Will Keep Us Together.' It's just relaxation time, three minutes of letting your mind wander. That's the only way I can explain it. To me, there's no message, although a lot of people, even little kids, say they like the lyrics."


And don’t we all need a little mindless circus music once in awhile?

I don’t recall Get Dancin’, but with a name like Disco Tex, he gets crossed out on principle. At #5 is My Eyes Adored You, which I always heard as "From a million miles away I could see Hawaii, Georgia."

Grade: B

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1975
1. Love Will Keep Us Together, The Captain and Tennille
2. Rhinestone Cowboy, Glen Campbell
3. Philadelphia Freedom, Elton John
4. Before The Next Teardrop Falls, Freddy Fender
5. My Eyes Adored You, Frankie Valli
6. Shining Star, Earth, Wind and Fire
7. Fame, David Bowie
8. Laughter In The Rain, Neil Sedaka
9. One Of These Nights, Eagles
10. Thank God I'm A Country Boy, John Denver
91. Someone Saved My Life Tonight, Elton John
92. Misty, Ray Stevens
93. Bad Blood, Neil Sedaka
94. Only Yesterday, Carpenters
95. I'm On Fire, Dwight Twilley Band
96. Only You, Ringo Starr
97. Third Rate Romance, Amazing Rhythm Aces
98. You Aint Seen Nothin' Yet / Free Wheelin', Bachman-Turner Overdrive
99. Swearin' To God, Frankie Valli
100. Get Dancin', Disco Tex and The Sex-O-lettes

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Twenty songs from 1974

Wherein More Details are available

With Grand Funk Railroad, we’re are in full-blown roller rink mode. Gotta say, I’m very disappointed in the early 70s. I expected more.

Grade: D+

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1974
1. The Way We Were, Barbra Streisand
2. Seasons In The Sun, Terry Jacks
3. Love's Theme, Love Unlimited Orchestra
4. Come And Get Your Love, Redbone
5. Dancing Machine, Jackson 5
6. The Loco-Motion, Grand Funk Railroad
7. TSOP, MFSB
8. The Streak, Ray Stevens
9. Bennie And The Jets, Elton John
10. One Hell Of A Woman, Mac Davis
91. My Mistake Was To Love You, Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye
91. Helen Wheels, Paul McCartney and Wings
93. Wildwood Weed, Jim Stafford
94. Beach Baby, First Class
95. Me And Baby Brother, War
96. Rockin' Roll Baby, Stylistics
97. I Honestly Love You, Olivia Newton-John
98. Call On Me, Chicago
99. Wild Thing, Fancy
100. Mighty Love, Pt. 1, Spinners

Twenty songs from 1973

Wherein More Details are available

What’s up with Tie a Yellow Ribbon? Not that I don’t appreciate the sentiment, but couldn’t we have come up with something more appropriate to pay tribute to loved ones away from home than a song about a guy getting out of prison?

I did not realize there was no love in my heart for Roberta Flack.

A conversation with song titles. Scene is a man and woman meeting in a bar.
Man: Let’s get it on.
Woman: Touch me in the morning.
Man: Will it go round in Circles?
Woman: Stir it up.
Man: Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree.
Woman: You’re so vain.


Thank you!

Grade: B-

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1973
1. Tie A Yellow Ribbon 'Round The Ole Oak Tree, Tony Orlando and Dawn
2. Bad Bad Leroy Brown, Jim Croce
3. Killing Me Softly With His Song, Roberta Flack
4. Let's Get It On, Marvin Gaye
5. My Love, Paul McCartney and Wings
6. Why Me, Kris Kristofferson
7. Crocodile Rock, Elton John
8. Will It Go Round In Circles, Billy Preston
9. You're So Vain, Carly Simon
10. Touch Me In The Morning, Diana Ross
91. Stir It Up, Johnny Nash
92. Money, Pink Floyd
93. Gypsy Man, War
94. The World Is A Ghetto, War
95. Yes We Can Can, Pointer Sisters
96. Free Ride, Edgar Winter Group
97. Space Oddity, David Bowie
98. It Never Rains In Southern California, Albert Hammond
99. The Twelfth Of Never, Donny Osmond
100. Papa Was A Rolling Stone, Temptations

Twenty songs from 1972

Wherein More Details are available

So that’s who the New Seekers are. I should go back to 1970 and cross out that song. While it isn’t that great a song, the recent update by Coke is even more insulting. Put a bunch of slackers on a city roof practicing hippity hop scat really references the touchy-feely narcissism of the early 70s. Uh-uh, I’m switching to RC Cola.

Two versions of a coke commercial charted? 1972, you suck.

Grade: C-

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1972
1. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Roberta Flack
2. Alone Again (Naturally), Gilbert O'Sullivan
3. American Pie, Don McLean
4. Without You, Nilsson
5. Candy Man, Sammy Davis Jr.
6. I Gotcha, Joe Tex
7. Lean On Me, Bill Withers
8. Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me, Mac Davis
9. Brand New Key, Melanie
10. Daddy Dont You Walk So Fast, Wayne Newton
91. Roundabout, Yes
92. Doctor My Eyes, Jackson Browne
93. I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing, New Seekers
94. Vincent / Castles In The Air, Don Mclean
95. Baby Let Me Take You (In My Arms), Detroit Emeralds
96. Speak To The Sky, Rick Springfield
97. I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing, Hillside Singers
98. Walking In The Rain With The One I Love, Love Unlimited
99. Good Foot, Pt. 1, James Brown
100. Pop That Thang, Isley Bros.

Twenty songs from 1971

Wherein More Details are available

Wow, the Bee Gees charted in 1971, just goes to show what I remember. Here’s Albert Brooks recalling opening for Richie Havens in San Antonio:

...San Antonio is a different story. Let me think of the best way to describe it, in case you don’t know. You will hear, read, see, think, draw, imagine, dream, vomit up the word Alamo until you want to go and hire the Cleveland Wrecking Company and break it down yourself. The Alamo is there, everything in the town is named after it. Every human, every building, every everything.

Alamo drugstore - no we don’t thank you; Alamo drycleaning - in by 10 out by 5; Alamo movie theater - 8:30, 10:30, 12:30; Alamo Mortuary - no, he’s dead. Every person walking the street: There’s Alamo Bradley and his wife Alamina. Little Alamo, Jr.

This concert was supposed to start at 8 o’clock. I was in the lobby of the hotel at 7:30, met Ritchie and his band. Got in the station wagon. Very easy going guy. Talked to me for awhile, talked to the wagon for a bit. Wasn’t a hard man to get along with. At 10 minutes to 8 we get to this place that no performing should have been done in, ever. It was originally built to store manure for the rest of the world. At eight O two, two minutes after eight, not 8:30, not 8:45, 6,000 people are in place going RITCHIE RITCHIE RITCHIE RITCHIE RITCHIE RITCHIE. 30 minutes, 45 minutes you can handle. Two minutes is just silly. How did all these people get organized that quickly? RITCHIE RITCHIE. I’m trying to dance to it, make a rthym song. He’s sitting there acknowledging - hey, that’s me. I know it is, Ritchie.

I was begging for a disc jockey to be there to introduce me. Usually, I hate it. But I wanted the disc jockey there because the audience would get some of their hostility off on him. Audience hate disc jockeys. And they have a right to, because generally, for the most part, disc jockeys are the worst human beings in the world. This is not my opinion, this is a medical fact. So it’s not me who’s saying it. The AMA came out with a report about 6 months ago listing the three worst human beings in the world. First, were incurable lepers; second was disc jockey; third was curable lepers. In between the lepers.


Grade: B-

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1971
1. Joy To The World, Three Dog Night
2. Maggie May / (Find A) Reason To Believe, Rod Stewart
3. It's Too Late / I Feel The Earth Move, Carole King
4. One Bad Apple, Osmonds
5. How Can You Mend A Broken Heart, Bee Gees
6. Indian Reservation, Paul Revere and the Raiders
7. Go Away Little Girl, Donny Osmond
8. Take Me Home, Country Roads, John Denver
9. Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me), Temptations
10. Knock Three Times, Dawn
91. I Am...I Said, Neil Diamond
92. Wedding Song (There Is Love), Paul Stookey
93. Don't Knock My Love, Pt. 1, Wilson Pickett
94. Love Her Madly, The Doors
95. Here Comes The Sun, Richie Havens
96. Sweet Mary, Wadsworth Mansion
97. Right On The Tip Of My Tongue, Brenda and The Tabulations
98. One Less Bell To Answer, Fifth Dimension
99. Riders On The Storm, The Doors
100. It's Impossible, Perry Como

Twenty songs from 1970

Wherein More Details are available

While I personally would not call any of these great - Let it Be = bloated - this a list of extremely solid music. I’m drawing a blank on New Seekers and Joe South; otherwise it is second tier music by mostly first tier musicians. Close to You always reminds me of the underrated Best of Times, when Kurt Russell seduces his wife with that song.

Grade: B+

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1970
1. Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon and Garfunkel
2. (They Long To Be) Close To You, Carpenters
3. American Woman / No Sugar Tonight, The Guess Who
4. Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head, B.J. Thomas
5. War, Edwin Starr
6. Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Diana Ross
7. I'll Be There, Jackson 5
8. Get Ready, Rare Earth
9. Let It Be, The Beatles
10. Band Of Gold, Freda Payne
91. Psychedelic Shack, Temptations
92. Without Love (There Is Nothing), Tom Jones
93. Are You Ready?, Pacific Gas and Electric
94. Woodstock, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
95. I'll Never Fall In Love Again, Dionne Warwick
96. Look What They've Done To My Song Ma, New Seekers
97. Walk A Mile In My Shoes, Joe South
98. The Thrill Is Gone, B.B. King
99. It's Only Make Believe, Glen Campbell
100. Call Me, Aretha Franklin

It's a group singalong

Wherein just brilliant


From Infinite Monkeys comes an appropriate song in anticipation of the new South Park episode. Short Quote:
WEEEEEEELLLLL!!!!
Well, Scientology's a cult, it's a big fat cult,
it's the biggest cult in the whole wide world.
It's a stupid cult, if there ever was a cult.
It's a cult to all the boys and girls.

Monday, it's a cult. On Tuesdays, it's a cult
and Wednesday through Saturday, it's a cult.
Then on Sunday, just to be different,
it's a super King Kameihameiha kult.

Read the rest.

A notorious entry point for the flu virus is your eyes

Wherein don't you just hate it when your plague-carrying coworker insists on coming to work with a 103 degree temperature, expelling gallons of snot and phlegm while hacking up a kidney and leaving diseased ridden tissues in every room they enter? Go home and die already, but don't drag the rest of us down with you.



Matt Welch alerts us to a blog about surviving the bird flu and flu pandemics in general: Family Flu Bug. The author turns out to be Matt's mom, "Mary Townsend....Mum's an RN/MSN who used to run hospital nursing departments and has written up a fab little guide about what practically to do if/when someone in your household catches the evil bug."

Here's an example of her advice. What to do when a flu pandemic hits the schools:
CLEAN LUNGS--it's all about spacing

A cough, sneeze or laugh spreads droplets into the air in a three-foot arc around your face. When the pandemic flu is a reality, it's time to rethink desk placement temporarily. Once the pandemic arrives, it will go through your community for six to eight weeks. For this length of time, desks will need to be far enough apart so that middle school and high school kids cannot touch their neighbors' noses, at the minimum. That's about three feet.

Younger children need this space, too. Two first graders touching knuckles at arm's length is a space of about three feet. Probably at their desks they have this space, but not standing in line and not sitting on the rug. Teachers will need to teach the children spacing for both lining up and rug work.

If a child in the class is coughing, she should be separated from the others as far as possible in a "coughing corner." In crowded classrooms that may not be possible, unless the teacher gets creative with the desks of students who are absent that day. At the very least, a cougher should have tissues and a sack to throw used ones in, with alcohol based cleanser available to clean the hands. Perhaps when pandemic flu is a reality in your community, any cougher should be immediately sent to the nurse's office.

I am officially paranoid. Perhaps I should bring in a bottle of bleach water and spray everything down around here.

Hey, Kinks' paranoia lyrics that sound like someone dying of the flu:
’cause there’s a red, under my bed
And there’s a little yellow man in my head
And there’s a true blue inside of me
That keeps stoppin’ me, touchin’ ya, watchin’ ya, lovin’ ya

Paranoia, the destroyer.
Paranoia, the destroyer.

Well I fell asleep, then I woke feelin’ kinda’ queer
Lola looked at me and said, ooh you look so weird.
She said, man, there’s really something wrong with you.

Songs of the 1970s overview

70s overview
Wherein the 1970s are looking a bit gay. And not in a homosexual way, more of an effete, ascot wearing British way

More details are available

The 1970s are usually thought of as musically stale with the birth of corporate rock and the whole disco thing. I just realized KC and the Sunshine didn’t make these lists. That’s a shame. They were a decent band that is unfairly tarred with being one of the worst excesses of the 70s decade. You can do a lot worse than a latin-oriented dance band with a tight horn section.

This was also the decade for great instrumental TV theme songs. Barney Miller, SWAT, Rockford Files, and Sanford and Son are just good music.

Best year: 1970 (B+)
Worst year: 1977 (D)

Top charters from the decade:
Gibb/Bee Gees: 7
Elton John: 6
Diana Ross: 4

And here’s how I want to remember the 1970s. Put aside Boogie Oogie Oogie, put aside Chicago and Boston, put aside Vegas lounge acts desparately clinging to middle of the road 1960s, put aside the prodigious efforts of Barry Manilow and Marvin Hamlisch, when I think of the 1970s, I think of the astonishing ride of Elton John. This guy was everywhere, doing everything. He did kitsch and serious, and was a real musician who could sing. He started off like a rock Liberace and finished off the decade doing a serious road tour of the Soviet Union. He’s also managed to continue to produce respectable music for the next 30 years (if we forget about his 18 different versions of "Candle in the Wind"). I raise a cheer to Sir John, a consummate entertainer.

Pick a year
1970 B+
1971 B-
1972 C-
1973 B-
1974 D+
1975 B
1976 B-
1977 D
1978 C+
1979 B

Monday, March 20, 2006

March 20: Lost podcast previews

wherein considering it lasts 28 minutes very little information is shared, which is fine with me as I'm avoiding spoilers


Damon Lindleof and Carlton Cuse discuss the upcoming episode, "The Whole Truth" (Airing Wed., March 22nd from 9:00-10:00pm on ABC). Let's just roll out the bullet points:
  • Just in case you were wondering, once someone dies, they are dead. No zombies on this show.
  • Lindleof: "We love Stephen King." Hmmmmmmmmmmm - guess that means there will be zombies.
  • This episode will be about Sun and Jin.
  • Sun has another secret (is this related to her looking for a pregnancy test?).
  • This episode will not be as dark as the last few.
  • Last episode, Mr. Eko cuts off two knots of goatee hair. This might be related to the two Others he killed.
  • Michael and Walt will be resolved by the end of the season.
  • Cuse: "The idea of dreams on the island is going to become more prevalent in episodes to come."

Les is more

Wherein this is the best thing to come out of Cincinnati since a Greek restaurateur didn't understand the request for chili and instead made a tasty meat sauce

Jaime, at Something Old, Something New, realizes that Bill O'Reilly is actually Les Nesman. Also has a handful of other Les Nesman quotes:
LES: Have you ever wondered why Russian women look like men?
BAILEY: I hadn't noticed.
LES: I think they kidnap men from all over the world, take them to Moscow, and turn them into Russian women. That's what I think happened to Jimmy Hoffa. By now he's probably a grandmother in the Ukraine.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Altars

Wherein Soul Kitchen is only four months away, plenty of time to read Liquor and Prime


Poppy Z. Brite has more on the New Orleans tradition of St. Joseph altars:
The last St. Joseph altar at St. Augustine Church in Tremé, as well as some other pictures of this fascinating church, an irreplacable piece of New Orleans history in general and black New Orleans history in particular that is, of course, being closed by the archdiocese. If this closure goes ahead, as it looks to be doing, it will be possibly the greatest disgrace and worst mistake New Orleans has ever known. At least the worst since they ran the I-10 overpass through the heart of the black business district on Claiborne, taking out dozens of ancient oaks and destroying the soul of a thriving neigborhood. Anyway, I helped set up the altar today. It's been an interesting three days:

Thursday: frantically making cookie bags with tough, hard-bitten St. Bernard Parish survivors in a cramped trailer

Friday: chopping vegetables and cooking casseroles with genteel Catholic ladies in Metairie

Saturday: assembling an Italian altar at a black church with my freak friends

And of course tomorrow I shall spend all day visiting altars, at least nine unless I hear that Bobby Hebert has decided to fulfill his promise of running naked down Poydras Street if his alma mater, Northwestern, wins its tourney basketball game, in which I may skip a few in order to second-line behind him. (Purely in the spirit of a parade, of course!)

Be sure to click over and follow her links. She also wrote an editorial on the closing of Our Lady of Good Counsel.

For basketball fans, particularly like me of the ACC fandom wing of nuttery, y'all might appreciate this additional nugget from Ms Brite:
... I am going to go gloat about LSU's basketball win over Texas A&M. I honestly don't know when I became an LSU fan. It happened when I wasn't looking. If they were playing UNC, though, I'd go Tarheels all the way. Tar is thicker than blood. Or something. I will never buy a Chevy because Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski is advertising them. Duke is puke, Wake is fake, but the team I hate is N.C. State. If God is not a Tarheel, why is the sky Carolina blue? Shut up, Brite. You're not making sense anymore.

I will reply to her hatred of N.C. State with the only poem I remember from grade school: God's favorite color may be Caroline blue, but you gotta go to heaven in a red canoe

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Developing

Wherein...


Friday, March 17, 2006

Let's talk about squash

Wherein this was served with some oven roasted potato wedges and pan-fried steak finished off in the oven; while the steak rested I reduced some red wine and scraped up the fond, then finished with some butter and poured over the steak


Previously, in my adventures with acorn squash.

After a lifetime of avoidance, I've come to appreciate the squash over the last couple of years. My problem had been one of texture. Most often it had been served to me in a casserole, and the mushy mess just makes me gag. Even yellow squash baked beyond recognition. The wife likes squash, so I started cooking with it trying to find some way for me to eat it. I quickly found that the summer squashes--zucchini and yellow--worked well with just a quick saute. Throw in some seasoning, maybe some cider vinegar or reduced white wine, and just barely heat (seriously, just 3-4 minutes max). The key is to leave them nice and firm. Splitting the squash and scraping the seeds gets rid of a lot of mush causing moisture.

This isn't surprising, as I prefer my vegetables to still be crispy or raw.

Winter squashes are a little different and require longer cooking. I've found I can go with a softer texture with a lot of these, but I still have to be careful with the butternut squash. Spaghetti squash is a wonderful find and I've found it helps to undercook a bit before scraping it out in strands. Then finish it to al dente by tossing it in a pan with some butter and grated romano. Treat it just like pasta.

Which gets me back to the acorn squash. This time I decided to dice it and bake it. Because of all the ridges, they're a pain to peel. A peeler isn't much help, so it's best to slice of the ends and use the chef knife. Once it's peeled, split it open, scrape the seeds, and slice and dice. Set the oven to 400, dumped into an ovenproof dish, stirred in a handful of brown sugar, grated about half a stick of butter, a sprinkling of nutmeg, tossed and backed about 40 minutes. Gave a stir a couple times while cooking.

Turned out ok. Of course the butter and brown sugar carmelized quite nicely and the squash was nicely sweet without tasting like a candied pumpkin casserole. It was a little greasy, with the liquid cooked out of the squash mingling with the melted butter. I'd like to get more of a roasted product, so the next time I'll try the following:
  1. Dice the squash, salt, and let rest on a wire rack over the sink for 20-30 minutes to try and draw out some of the water.
  2. Spread out on a pan and bake for maybe 30-40 minutes, or until the desired texture is reached.
  3. As the squash finishes cooking, add butter and brown sugar to a skillet. I'd go with maybe a quarter stick of butter and a quarter cup of brown sugar. I want to lightly coat the roasted squash, not make desert.
  4. Toss squash with butter/brown sugar and lightly dust with nutmeg.
  5. Serve and eat.


Another idea with the acorn squash would be a twist on the twice-baked potato. Split, scoop and roast about 40 minutes. Scrape flesh out and throw into the KitchenAid with some roasted pecans, goat cheese, and a touch of maple syrup. Scoop back into squash shells and cook about another 15 minutes. Maybe sprinkle some mleted butter mixed with bread crumbs to toast on top. That sounds good.

Let's Talk About Squash
(by salt and pepper)
Let's talk about squash, baby
Let's talk about umami
Let's talk about all the good things
That you'll cook for me
Let's talk about squash

Let's talk about squash and don't forget
zucchini is courgette
You can bake a pie
And the hot dish you can't deny
Cuz that ain't gonna stop it
Now we talk about squash
Many will know anything goes
Let's tell how to bake it, and how scrape it
How it was, and of course, how it should be
All right then, come on, chop it

Let's talk about squash, baby
Let's talk about umami
Let's talk about all the good things
That you'll cook for me
Let's talk about squash

Here's your St. Paddy's day song

Wherein this holiday is almost as useless and annoying as Valentines day


Richard Thompson sings it:

God Loves a Drunk
Will there be any bartenders up there in heaven?
Will the pubs never close? Will the glass never drain?
No more DTs and no shakes and no horrors
The very next morning, you feel right as rain

'Cause God loves a drunk, lowest of men
Like the dogs in the street and the pigs in the pen
But a drunk's only trying to get free of his body
And soar like an eagle high up there in heaven
His shouts and his curses they are just hymns and praises
To kick-start his mind now and then
O God loves a drunk, come raise up your glasses, amen

Anyone having problems with Blogger?

Wherein something ain't right


I was thinking blogger seemed a little hinky the last couple days, but maybe something else is going on.

XWL writes that he can't get into his blog, Immodest Proposals, and it looks down to me.

Then Mr. Instapundit has a plea from another blogger about stolen blogs.

I don't know what's going on, but I suggest somehow backing up anything you don't want to lose.

Update: this might be XWL's problem. From Blogger Status:
Thursday, March 16, 2006

The filer that we have been having trouble with in the last few days failed again. Those blogs that are stored on the bad filer are temporarily not available for publishing and viewing. We are working on replacing the filer and restoring access to the blogs affected.

Posted by Pal at 21:14 PST

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Would this make me a word ho or a word pimp?

Wherein the wherein really isn't part of the post and shouldn't be included when quoting. Feel free to quote the Whereins, but please treat as a separate entry


Not bad, my performance enhancement piece gets picked up for the Carnival of the Vanities #182. Good stuff, go check it out.

I also get a kind word from this week's ringleader:
This guy will not long linger as a mere Slimy Mollusc in the Ecosystem, gentle readers. Mark my words. Or, rather, mark his. They're better, and less filling besides.

Musical review update

Wherein 1960 through 1969 are now released. The 70s will start March 22.


Confused? Start here.

Twenty songs from 1969

Wherein More Details are available


Gotta love a song that totally sells “ooga chukka” lyrics. That must have been a fun songwriting session. Not an exciting year.

Anyone remember the Credibility Gap? How about their "Who's on first" routine using The Who, Guess Who, and Yes? Listen to it at Harry Shearer's place.

Grade: B-

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1969
1. Aquarius, Fifth Dimension
2. Sugar, Sugar, Archies
3. I Can't Get Next To You, Temptations
4. Honky Tonk Women, Rolling Stones
5. Build Me Up Buttercup, Foundations
6. Dizzy, Tommy Roe
7. Hot Fun In The Summertime, Sly and The Family Stone
8. I'll Never Fall In Love Again, Tom Jones
9. Everyday People, Sly and The Family Stone
10. Get Together, Youngbloods
91. Your Good Thing (Is About To End), Lou Rawls
92. Baby I'm For Real, Originals
93. You Showed Me, Turtles
94. Love Me Tonight, Tom Jones
95. Ramblin' Gamblin' Man, Bob Seger System
96. Laughing, The Guess Who
97. My Whole World Ended (The Moment You Left Me), David Ruffin
98. Soul Deep, Box Tops
99. Hooked On A Feeling, B.J. Thomas
100. Sweet Cream Ladies, Box Tops

Twenty songs from 1968

Wherein More Details are available


Hey Jude is bloated and pretentious and a great song. Otis Redding is the man; truly, any mood you’re in Otis has a song for it. Though I haven’t checked “murderous rampage” so I may be overstating my case. I don’t remember Fifth Dimension’s version, but I love Laura Love’s cover of Stoned Soul Picnic. Still not much here to scare the old people. Was Jerry Butler the truck driving cohort in Smokey and the Bandit?

It's time to play "Song titles that work as inappropriate double entendres used by 60-year-old hookers":
  • Tighten up
  • Here comes the judge
  • Sealed With a kiss
  • Bend me shape me


Grade: B-

Bad songs = crossed out
Great songs = bold

1968
1. Hey Jude, The Beatles
2. Honey, Bobby Goldsboro
3. Love Is Blue, Paul Mauriat
4. (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay, Otis Redding
5. People Got To Be Free, Rascals
6. Sunshine Of Your Love, Cream
7. This Guy's In Love With You, Herb Alpert
8. Stoned Soul Picnic, Fifth Dimension
9. Mrs. Robinson, Simon and Garfunkel
10. Tighten Up, Archie Bell and The Drells
91. You're All I Need To Get By, Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
92. Here Comes The Judge, Shorty Long
93. I Say A Little Prayer, Aretha Franklin
94. Say It Loud, I'm Black And I'm Proud, James Brown
95. Sealed With A Kiss, Gary Lewis and The Playboys
96. Piece Of My Heart, Big Brother and The Holding Company
97. Suzie Q., Creedence Clearwater Revival
98. Bend Me Shape Me, American Breed
99. Hey, Western Union Man, Jerry Butler
100. Never Give You Up, Jerry Butler