Wednesday, December 19, 2007

"you're a fucking idiot who never figured out that the only way to make anything of himself with all that fancy kicking was on Broadway"

Wherein I sprained my finger clicking IMDB links


The full quote:
Senator Aaron McComb: You see, I'm an ambitious Harvard-educated visionary who deserves to be the most powerful man in the world and you... you're a fucking idiot who never figured out that the only way to make anything of himself with all that fancy kicking was on Broadway.
Max Walker: Thanks for clearing that up.
[as he kicks the villain]
Max Walker: I'm still kicking. I must be on Broadway.

Of course, that's from the Jean-Claude Van Damme classic Timecop (1994). In the above scene he plays Walker and Senator McComb is played by frequent Emmy nominee Ron Silver. That's a clue to the success of Mr. Van Damme: he fully embraces the maxim "surround yourself with successful people." Let's take a look at his career.

According to IMDB, Jean-Claude Van Damme has been in 37 movies, going back to 1984. This includes Breakin', where he's listed as "Spectator in first dance sequence (uncredited)." For a guy with a funny accent primarily known for kicking and full splits, it wouldn't be surprising to find out he's acted with a former Dallas Cowboy cheerleader -- Janet Gunn, The Quest (1996). Or even a five-time NBA champion...if that champion turned out to be Dennis Rodman in Double Team (1997) . Already that's a formula for world-wide success and adulation. But still not enough for the former Very Gay Karate Man. In addition to Ron Silver, Van Damme has matched talents with many other nominated actors; actors too numerous to name. Trust me, the list is impressive. But you might be surprised at the list of actors who were not only nominated, but ascended to their craft's highest honors. Some of them were helped along early in their career by the Muscles From Brussels. Others, benefiting from the Belgian's generosity found shelter in the later stages of their career. For all, no matter the awards and the accolades, I'm sure they will always look back fondly on the time spent with the master, Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Jean-Claude Van Damme has acted with the following winners. How many names can you match with the award?

update: I've included the answers in inviso-text, so just highlight each line

  1. Oscar, best actor Forest Whitaker, Bloodsport (1988)
  2. Oscar, best actor Charlton Heston, The Order (2001)
  3. Tony, Best Leading Actor in a Musical Jerry Orbach, Universal Soldier (1992)
  4. Emmy, Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Special Raul Julia, Street Fighter (1994)
  5. Emmy, Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series or a Special Powers Boothe, Guyana Tragedy: The Story of Jim Jones (1980)
  6. Emmy, Best supporting actress in a comedy series Jaime Pressly, Inferno (1999)
  7. Grammy, Best Dance Recording Kylie Minogue, Street Fighter (1994)
  8. Football Hall of Fame Lawrence Taylor, In Hell (2003)
  9. Father of an Oscar winner and former coworker with #3 Paul Sorvino, Knock Off (1998)


Note: this list does not include Pat Morita who was nominated for Oscars and Emmys, but never won.

7 Comments:

Blogger Pastor_Jeff said...

Any bonus points for never having seen a Van Damme movie?

12/20/2007 12:10:00 AM  
Blogger XWL said...

Answer for #1-8 must be the one, the only, the Rob Schneider.

Who can forget Knock Off?

#9 would be Paul Sorvino, who played the heavy in Knock Off.

12/20/2007 12:46:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

Pastor Jeff, why do you hate short belgiums?

12/20/2007 05:09:00 AM  
Blogger Pastor_Jeff said...

Bill, I really tried; honest I did. But the temptation was too much. Now you've forced me into making a bad pun about not giving a Van Damme.

But I didn't say anything about waiting for his remake National Lampoon's Vacation where they go to Walloon World.

I'm sorry, so terribly sorry.

12/20/2007 09:54:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

Oops, I forgot I'm opposed to Belgium.

12/20/2007 11:56:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

and "short belgiums?" should be "short Belgians?"

geez.

12/20/2007 11:58:00 AM  
Blogger Outis said...

Drawn to film, he gave up a career in fitness to move abroad for a film career.

To which I can only add, "!!!!"

WV: tingle

Unbelievable....

11/10/2008 11:01:00 PM  

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