A musical opportunity

Wherein unfortunately I'm trying to cut back on my deep-fried imitation crab meat intake


No experience necessary:

Needed: DOWNSCALE, INEXPERIENCED PIANO/KEYBOARDIST for MY EVENT (Ball Ground)
Reply to:
Date: 2008-07-07, 4:42PM EDT

I'm looking for a fat, slovenly, untalented person to jump up and down on a baby grand piano at Shootski's Bar and Grille here in Ball Ground. The key word here is "slovenly" - if you look like you just gave birth to something and you're a man, then you've got the look we need. Ability to play the piano is not required and is in fact discouraged. I reinforced the piano with Re-Bar and all I want is for you to jump up and down on it, bang your fists on the lid, and howl like a spider monkey. A big, fat, slovenly spider monkey. I am hoping to attract customers, business is slow and this is the best idea I can come up with. I don't know, maybe you could run around the restaurant dribbling a basketball. People would probably like that too.

There is no pay but free food for this gig, it's all deep-fried imitation crab meat.