Monday, September 12, 2005

Poppy reviews MREs

to update, Poppy Z. Brite and husband evacuated New Orleans and headed to Mississippi. They survived the storm, but are still without power.
She reviews last night's dinner.
No power yet, so tonight we dined by candlelight on MREs donated to us courtesy of (I assume) Your Tax Dollars. The heat source is very complicated and scary to activate. Then you have to stuff the whole thing back in its carton and prop it on a rock or something (the diagram actually has a rock labeled ROCK OR SOMETHING). Once your meal is cooked, it is full of cunning little details and not actually all that bad. My mother selected Chicken with Noodles and Vegetables, which was sploogy and comforting in the manner of a casserole your mom might have cooked in the '70s, but with no chow mein noodles or crushed potato chips on top. I opted for Beef Enchiladas with Sauce, which were quite zippy, though they didn't resemble enchiladas so much as a sort of thin, pliant crepe rolled over and over on itself with a thin layer of ground beef inside. My enchiladas were accompanied by a Cheez Whiz-like spread with jalapenos, a packet of refried beans, a packet of (sorely needed) picante sauce, a Creamsicle Cookie which actually tasted just like a Creamsicle (at least, the half I didn't drop on the floor while removing it from the package did; the dogs appeared to enjoy the other half), and a pair of Tootsie Rolls, which I like but did not eat for fear of losing a filling, and I don't know if the dentists here prescribe as freely as mine in New Orleans. Also included in the packets were Tabasco, powdered drink mixes, salt, salt-free salt, pepper, sugar, instant coffee, moist towelettes, matches, gum, and (no doubt usefully, but still a little ominously) fast-dissolving toilet paper.

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