Rodney, the cooler man!

Steve auditions an advertising campaign:

By the way, I like that Arizona Tea Crackhead Punch. That 400-milligram blast of caffeine really got my day going. In a previous entry, I remarked that drinking these things could put you in the frame of mind Rodney King was in when he decided he could beat up seven cops. I now think the Arizona Tea people need to call Rodney and work out an endorsement deal. They need to rename this stuff Arizona Tea’s Rodney King Cop-Killer Cooler. I’m sure Rodney is broke now, so I know he’d jump at the deal. They could do commercials where Rodney is sitting in a lawn chair in his front yard, minding his own business, and a cruiser full of cops rolls by, and they’re taunting him and giving him the finger. He pulls a can of Cop-Killer Cooler out of his shirt, Popeye-style, and he turns it up, and he gets out of that chair and beats them like little girls.

I’m Rodney the cooler man!
I’m Rodney the cooler man!
When cops start a ruckus,
I son them maf_kkas!
I’m Rodney the cooler man!

Something like that. I haven’t worked the lyrics out yet.