Maggie's farm is a rough place

wherein this makes about as much sense as trying to explain the offside rule

How did Wayne Rooney break his foot, causing the entire island of Britain to develop a suicidal funk? Marina Hyde floats the idea that it was Margaret Thatcher's fault:

Instantly supplanting the War of Jenkins' Ear as history's most depressing conflict about a body part is the War of Rooney's Foot, currently being waged between Sir Alex Ferguson and Sven-Goran Eriksson. Yet as they fiddle, the rest of us get on with the real business: whom to burn for The End of the Dream(TM). Happily my eye is drawn to a letter to Football365.com which suggests that stopping free school milk caused brittle bones in all subsequent generations of children, and therefore the blame for Rooney's injury must be laid at the door of Margaret Thatcher.

Other nominees includes:

• The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand
  
• Tsar Nicholas II and the Bloody Sunday Massacre of 1905
  
• Germany invading Poland