Friday, November 17, 2006

I blame the Spanish for creating the travel and tourist industry

Wherein personally, I've always preferred Fuji over Kodak for color film

Carl Hiaasen practices a little wishful thinking in Tourist Season.

Wiley tossed his rum glass into the sand. "So there'll be no revolution, in the classic sense, but chaos? You bet. Shame. Panic. Flight. Economic disaster."

"Pretty ambitious," Keyes said.

"It's the least I can do," Wiley said. "Brian, what is Florida anyway? An immense sunny toilet where millions of tourists flush their money and save the moment on Kodak film. The recipe for redemption is simple: scare away the tourists and pretty soon you scare off the developers. No more developers, no more bankers. No more bankers, no more lawyers. No more lawyers, no more dope smugglers. The whole motherfucking economy implodes! Now, tell me I'm crazy."

Brian Keyes knew better than to do that.

"So the question," Wiley went on, "is how to scare away the tourists."

"Murder a few," Keyes said.

"For starters."

"Skip, there's got to be another way."

"No!" Wiley shot to his feet, uprooting the beach umbrella with his head. "There...is...no...other way! Think about it, you mullusk-brained moron! What gets headlines? Murder, mayhem, and madness--the cardinal M's of the newsroom. That's what terrifies the travel agents of the world. That's what rates congressional hearings and crime commissions. And that's what frightens off bozo Shriner conventions. It's a damn shame, I grant you that. It's a shame I simply couldn't stand up at the next county commission meeting and ask our noble public servants to please stop destroying the planet. It's a shame that the people who poisoned this paradise won't just apologize and pack their U-Hauls and head back North to the smog and the blizzards. But it's a proven fact they won't leave until somebody lights a fire under 'em."

4 Comments:

Blogger Icepick said...

Ahh, the dream of everey native Floridian.....

11/17/2006 01:09:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

Yeah, and if not for the robber barons building resorts, Disney, and of course the invention of air conditioning, it would all still be a mosquito-ridden hellhole.

11/17/2006 01:48:00 PM  
Blogger XWL said...

Wherein personally, I've always preferred Fuji over Kodak for color film

What's this, "film" you speak of?

(when I worked at a professional photography studio, they favored Fuji, as well)

11/18/2006 01:09:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

Yep, still using film. A 16-year old Canon EOS Rebel to be exact.

11/18/2006 04:57:00 AM  

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