Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Your team? Probably sucks

Wherein off-topic comments still go in the June 17, 2007 to June 23, 2007 post below

This is good news:

The international record of the United States men’s national team is .500 (189-189-111) for the first time in 489 official games, dating to 1937. The team reached the break-even point thanks to an 8-0-1 record under Coach Bob Bradley ahead of tomorrow night’s Concacaf Gold Cup semifinal match against Canada in Chicago.

Professional sports teams with sub-.500 records:


Buffalo Bills: 348-381-8
New York Jets: 326-393-8
Cincinnati Bengals: 266-342-1
Houston Texans: 24-56-0
Tennessee Titans: 354-379-6
San Diego Chargers: 350-367-11
Philadelphia Eagles: 488-533-25
Detroit Lions: 488-554-32
Atlanta Falcons: 258-374-6
Carolina Panthers: 96-105-0
New Orleans Saints: 249-364-5
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 193-304-1
Arizona Cardinals: 458-664-39
Seattle Seahawks: 242-257-0

Did you notice that every team in the NFC South is below .500? Keep the Panthers--they could reach .500 this year--the other three should be dissolved and their players thrown into a supplemental draft.

Atlanta Braves: 9650-9673*
Baltimore Orioles: 7841-8620*
Colorado Rockies: 1061-1214
note: both Chicago teams are above .500; surprised me
Florida Marlins: 1075-1198*
Kansas City Royals: 2963-3126
Los Angeles/Anaheim Angels: 3641-3753
Milwaukee Brewers: 2876-3218
Minnesota Twins: 7919-8548*
New York Mets: 3446-3773*
Oakland Athletics: 8001-8444*
Philadelphia Phillies: 8801-9990
San Diego Padres: 2822-3276
Seattle Mariners: 2262-2540
Tampa Bay Devil Rays: 610-914
Texas Rangers: 3442-3933
Toronto Blue Jays: 2378-2426*
Washington Nationals: 2937-3156

There's a trivia question: what do the teams with asterisks have in common? Guess away before the answer is revealed tomorrow.


Houston Rockets: 1404-1434
Charlotte Hornets: 542-574
Indiana Pacers: 1006-1094
Detroit Pistons: 2027-2209
Miami Heat: 534-582
Sacramento Kings: 1979-2258
Golden State Warriors: 2005-2337
Denver Nuggets: 964-1136
Washington Wizards: 1523-1796
Cleveland Cavaliers: 1155-1437
Dallas Mavericks: 754-1018
Toronto Raptors: 224-318
New Jersey Nets: 854-1246
Minnesota Timberwolves: 409-625
Los Angeles Clippers: 925-1667
Memphis Grizzlies: 124-418


Blogger Matt said...

They've all won a World Series.

6/20/2007 01:40:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

Yes, but not quite the answer. There are other teams on the list that have also won the World Series.

6/20/2007 02:49:00 PM  
Blogger Icepick said...

Break up the Bucs? They've won a freeakin' Super Bowl! Plus, the Culverhouse years were long ago. Better the break up the Cardinals....

6/20/2007 02:53:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

What is needed is a formula combining historical ineptitude with more recent--maybe the last 10 years?--data. For the historical, let's calculate the winning percentage for those teams over .500. Apply that rate to the sub .500 team and if it would take more than 20 years to reach .500, then they're on the chopping block. If they show above average winning for the previous 10 years, then they get to stay. I don't think winning a championship should count, at least not much. Other than their World Series wins, is there any reason to keep the Marlins around?

Pulling these numbers reenforces my belief that going to multiple divisions and a European soccer league style of relegation would be highly entertaining (for all sports). Add a few more teams and split into League A and League B. Marlins win the Series one year, then sell off the team--bye bye League A. Enjoy your reduced revenues in League B. It's a weird world when the fascist owned Italian football is more of a free market than the NFL.

It would be interesting to see each team's record for the previous 10 years. Too much work for me. Though I wouldn't be surprised if someone has it available and I just didn't find it.

6/20/2007 03:20:00 PM  
Blogger XWL said...

The LA Clippers would have to have ten consecutive 96 Bulls like runs (72-10) to even come within sniffing distance of .500 for the lifetime of the franchise.

Somehow I don't see that happening.

Why not just relegation, how about reassignment?

The teams aren't just relegated to the minors, but combine all the bad teams into a multi-sport league. Imagine a bad baseball team trying to play football, or a bad football team trying to play hockey, or a bad basketball team trying to play soccer. Pair two bad teams from different sports in a sport neither team specializes in.

Let's see if the LA Clippers could beat the Houston Texans in baseball.

The comic possibilities are endless.

On the baseball question, I'm drawing a blank, thought it might be teams that have either gone from worst to first or first to worst (Braves the first way, the Marlins the other way), but doesn't apply to all of them.

Can't figure out what's different about the Angels and Phillies amongst losing baseball clubs that have also won World Series.

6/20/2007 04:36:00 PM  
Blogger a.k.a. Zooomabooma said...

You forgot hockey.

And the NJ Nets record kinda makes it hurt a little less that that idiot rapper is moving the team to Brooklyn.

6/21/2007 02:35:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

No, I didn't forget hockey. I just overlooked it, just like everyone else always does.

6/21/2007 07:07:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

Trivia question: they have 2 or more World Series victories. Question would work better if you didn't see the list.

Q: What do the following teams have in common: Atlanta Braves, Baltimore Orioles, Florida Marlins, Minnesota Twins, New York Mets, Oakland Athletics, and Toronto Blue Jays.

A: All have won two or more World Series and have a lifetime record of more losses than wins.

6/21/2007 07:11:00 AM  

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