Monday, August 13, 2007

With all due respect, maybe y'all could get thee to Bartleby and pick the bones of another author

Wherein I could probably make this a regular feature

In our previous example of clichéd laziness, Justkim (A Musing Time) left the following comment:
Today I heard an ad on the radio for a hair salon chain. I'm not kidding even a little bit when I tell you that the ad closed with :And to quote Shakespeare, 'Get thee to a Hair Cuttry!'." I winced.

I bet we can find more.

  • Traveling in Italy and need a place to stay? Get thee to a nunnery

  • Isn't the Pacific Northwest cold and wet? Nevermind, Get Thee to a Beach!
  • It's The Imaginary Invalid, meaning it's Moliere, meaning it's French. Why not quote Shakespeare: Get thee to a funnery!

  • It's a horoscope, so it isn't nice to make fun of the retarded...unless they deserve it: CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): This is a wonderful day for high finance. Get thee to a bank. Sign contracts, do deals, make loans, go for a mortgage, settle insurance claims, and deal with shared property and the like. Gifts and goodies can come your way! Share the wealth!

  • Tell a carefree 12-year-old to strap on...whoa there buddy! That'll teach me to read the Christian Science Monitor at work. Oh, it's an article about racing-- Amateur car racing. At least the reporter let's us know he's an English grad...or read the Cliff Notes...or glanced at the playbill when that bitch of an ex-girlfriend dragged him to Shakespeare in the park: Drive feather-footed and you sip fuel. Still, ever wonder what your bone-stock Infiniti, Ford, Kia, or Audi can do? Get thee to a private racetrack.

  • Need some berries in Oregon? It's already proving to be a fabulous berry year, so get thee to a farmers' market and load up so you can prepare any of the following treats at home.

  • Other reading beyond Harry? Sure, and there's other authors to steal from besides the bard: If not, get thee to a library!

  • Always best to admit your mistakes, John: Whether 'tis nobler to shake the hand of a cheat who I helped get away with cheating for years or to finally stand up and say, "ENOUGH!" Get thee to a nunnery that day rather than a ballpark!

    Apologies to Shakespeare.

  • If you have a subscription with, you could be reading If you've been skeptical about the health of the economy and retail stocks, grab your yoga mat and your wallet and get thee to a lululemon store.

  • I'd just like to add that Dr. Sandy sounds like an ass: First of all, recognize your feelings for what they are — grief. Then get thee to a support group.

  • This is why I don't gamble (anymore...again). I took the over (4.5) on reporter Pat Reavy mentioning Utah 5 times in his Tesla review. So what happens? He writes "Utah" four times and "Beehive state" once. And now I'm out $500 and The Child will just have to wait until next week for new school supplies. Attention aspiring guitar-based rock bands: Get thee to a Tesla show and take notes.


Blogger James said...

I believe you've spotted a snowclone.

8/13/2007 06:51:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

First I've heard of snowclones. I guess my first would be one of my first blogposts, Any sufficently advanced, a list of all the different versions of "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" I could find.

8/13/2007 08:24:00 PM  
Blogger XWL said...

"With all due respect"

What respect have these Shakespeare mangling hacks earned?

8/14/2007 06:45:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

Consider it a misguided effort to cut back on profanity.

8/15/2007 08:02:00 AM  

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