Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Because I have a short at

Wherein see what I did there?

I agree with Jim Treacher

This has to be one of the most bizarre examples of logic I've come across in a while: "X equals Y because, well, X equals Y." I realize the guy was trying to be nice here, but given that he's basically accusing me of making my entry unbalanced and biased, I'd just as soon he had skipped the butt-kissing.

In Virginia alcohol news:
Yeah, if I wanted to suck on frigid yeast, I could call my ex-girlfriend.

A swing voter is someone not voting for Obama:
I know that the New Yorker cover is satire.

But I also know that swing voters are the stupidest, most gullible slackjaws ever to have stained U.S. soil. This is a group that bases its decisions on swift boating and illegitimate black babies and ambiguous bar-hopping-compatibility metrics. This election is too important and too close for the New Yorker to decide, against all evidence, that swing voters will spontaneously sprout the ability to grasp nuance and irony.

I'm sure this brands me as an elitist "just like" Obama. But the fact that swing voters view unusual skill and talent as a LIABILITY for presidential candidates just proves my point.

Maybe Leo would be interested in joining our search for a military boarding school in a country far far away:
“Hey, mom” asked 5, still performing acrobatic feats on the end of the cart, “do you know what a wiener is?”

“A hot dog?” I said, hopefully, as I reached the bread aisle. Please let it be a hot dog I prayed silently.

South Carolina is gay:
Upon reflection, I think we all knew at the time - even if we refused to admit it to ourselves - that this was where the Spoleto Festival would lead us.

Successful white coach somehow remains successful despite racist attitudes towards black players:
I've been sitting on this trying to figure out a way to explain why this article annoys me so much. Mostly because it promises more than it delivers. In the end, what we get is repeated references to a deranged 26-year old letter. And a big neon sign that the Boston Globe likes to submit FOIA requests on dead people just to see what turns up. You want to talk to someone about this, go see Henry Aaron about the boxes of vile letters he still keeps from his home run chase. Some people are fucked in the head, nothing new here. The paper spent a year and a half on this to basically inform us that Red Auerbach is a stand up guy. Great. Wonderful news. And also, in a bit of word and concept defining that the above commenter to the Washington Post would appreciate, not being liberal is a sign of racism:
[Bobby] Knight was a longtime friend of Auerbach, their relationship dating to 1962, when Auerbach drafted John Havlicek, Knight's teammate at Ohio State, to play for the Celtics. Though Knight's politics were not as liberal as Auerbach's, he was considered generally supportive of African-American athletes.


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