Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I miss Bill Hicks

Wherein he would've been entertaining to have had around these last 14 years

ALOTT5MA informs me that Jay Leno is leaving. Which makes me think of Bill Hicks. Interesting thing is, Jay Leno was a big part of his early success.

Artistic Role Call (audio) from the album Rant in E-Minor.

Shorter quote:
I'm kinda bummed because I'm missing my favorite cultural trainwreck, the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. I'm like a rubber-necker, man. Every night it's the crash of *** metal when that show starts. Me and my friends have a little office pool, wondering exactly, which episode, which guest is going to be on when Jay finally puts a 9 millimeter in his mouth and blows his Doritos-shilling head off his *** body. I think it's going to be Joey Lawrence, from the show Blossom. Other of my friends bet to differ and think Patrick Duffy a more likely culprit.

Leno voice: So, hi everyone, welcome to the show. Tonight we have Joey Lawrence. Hi Joey, how are ya'. It's good to see you again and boy it was always my comedic dream to be 44-years old and interviewing a little Tony Danza-wannabe every three months. Boy, I'm fulfilled as a human spiritually. So, so, anyway, Joey, you're 16 now, you're sixteen years old?

Joey voice: yeah

Leno voice: That's great. You're sixteen. Got a license, you driving, you driving?

Joey voice: yeah

Leno voice: That's great. You got a license, you driving, you got a car? You got a car?

Joey voice: yeah

Leno voice: You got a girlfriend, hmm? You dating somebody, anybody special?

Joey voice: yeah, no, well she thinks so, I don't. hee hee hee hee

Leno voice: Good God, what have I done with my life?

Boom! His brains splew out, forming an NBC peacock on the wall behind him. 'Cause he's a company man to the bitter *** end.


Anonymous Sun of Nothing said...

Greatness dies, mediocrity lives forever.

10/14/2010 01:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i prefer 'everyone dies, greatness lives forever' :)

8/14/2013 06:30:00 AM  

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