Wednesday, January 18, 2006

A journey through frequently read websites

Wherein I practice the lost art of cut and paste

The James Lileks Bleat
By Ogdard’s girth, it’s cold!

(Got that from the Random Thor Oath Generator. There is no Norse god named Ogdard; sounds like Osgard's hapless twin brother.) (Note: there is no such thing as the Random Thor Oath Generator. But there should be.) (Sigh. Now checking the interwebs to make sure there isn’t.) (By Gromnar’s Fistula, I find the results lacking! Someone get on this right away. A need goes unfilled? In this day and age?)

The Brian Tiemann Peeve Farm
But what can Apple do? AppleWorks belongs to the earlier era of Mac app design, where Apple made defeatured, not-very-compatible equivalents to well-established programs that would otherwise cost lots of money (or that weren't available on the Mac). AppleWorks was specifically meant to give people a low-cost alternative to Office, one that didn't necessarily have great file-format compatibility and far less than anyone could consider feature parity, but at least it let people write term papers and do their rotisserie stats. But it's old, it's decrepit, and it has no future on Mac OS X—and it's being left out of the Intel Mac game altogether, it seems.

The Something Old Something New
I know I'm not the first person to notice this, but the Golden Globes have become far more entertaining than the Academy Awards.

The A List of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago
A lifesaver to many of us in the hinterlands, the mini-market chain Trader Joe's will be invading Manhattan in just a few months.

A list of all the Trader Joe's products I find essential would take an essay, but let me single out one -- that frozen marinated rack of lamb kicks ass, and comes out perfectly every time.

The Either End of the Curve
"I Just Like To Impress The Ladies A Lot"
My son, explaining why he insists on applying deodorant and aftershave after his bath.

He added: "That's an important technique to know, Mom, don't you know that?"

His 6th birthday isn't until June.

The Amy Alkon
It's My Life, I'll Take It If I Want To
Or hire somebody to take it for me. Because it's mine, and I get to decide what gets done with it, same as I get to decide what gets done with my pen or my desk or my iPod.

The Photodude
But let’s assume Iran acquires nuclear weapons by early 2009. What then?
  • The Couch Spectator Solution...
  • The “Don’t Make Us Spank You” Solution...
  • The “No More Fondue Forks For You” Solution...
  • The “Look Away and Let The Israelis Do It” Solution...

The Vodkapundit
Tehran took over the American Embassy – an act of war - in 1979, and President Carter quickly responded months later with a half-assed military operation which failed completely. Three years later, Iran's proxies in Lebanon killed hundreds of Marines, and President Reagan responded by forcefully withdrawing the survivors back to the homeland. When the first President Bush was presented a golden opportunity to depose a Middle East dictator, he instead sold out the future (and Iraq's Kurds and Shiites) to the brutal status quo. Faced with 18 dead American soldiers in Somalia, President Clinton, taking his cue from Reagan*, caved in.

The Waiter Rant
I’m being paranoid you say? This sounds like complete bullshit? Au contraire! There’s a place in Manhattan where, if you order a glass of soda with no ice, you’re charged more money! That’s right folks! This place makes you pay for the extra volume the ice would normally occupy. Next thing you know they’ll be charging for ice on the side too.

The Matt Welch
From my admittedly cranky perspective, Bush/Cheney are lousy on the Bill of Rights, Clinton/Gore were lousy on the Bill of Rights, and everyone within bribing distance of the 2008 election (Hillary, McCain, Giuliani) are lousy on the Bill of Rights, too.

The The World According to Pooh
1. Contact 2. Office Space/Fight Club 3. ...and Justice for All 4. Dirty Harry 5. Reality Bites 6. The Big Chill 7. Miracle/Hoosiers 8. 8 Mile/Walk the Line/Ray 9. Do the Right Thing 10. Wall Street.

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