Humor cuts

Wherein I command, "Laugh, monkey laugh!"

jack sparks speaks truth to power:

When a downtown bar fills you full of 16oz cans of PBR at an obscene price, then shoe horns you onto a pink bus with disco lights for a 10 block ride to watch "bigger" gals take shots at each other on roller skates, there's a better than even chance your soul is going to get scarred, in addition to your corneas and liver.

RIA is requesting some off-color puns. All I have is a punchline, "...so then I said 'blow me!'":

I'm going to resist every single pun and quip that came to my mind when I stumbled upon this. (Not so difficult--yes, of course I changed the first word I unthinkingly typed-- since I'm still totally nonplussed.)

I'm sort of hoping that my commenters won't, though.

Great song review:

Every once in a while I buy a new age CD. Usually I am seeking some sort of insight. Often, in fact you might say very often, I end up with insipid crap such as this song. It’s like dating a woman who is beautiful but not especially smart or kind. In a very short amount of time you end up wondering “is that all there is?”

Sometimes someone just needs some STAIRS! therapy.

Jim Treacher: Would you like this blank, empty envelope?

Presidential relatives:

I predict that in another generation or two most of our Presidents will be relatives of Bill Clinton, but they won't have the last name Clinton.

Then again, most Americans who aren't President will also be relatives of Bill Clinton in another generation or two.

Sounds funny, I'd watch this:

India's leading news channel, NDTV, is producing a sitcom called "The Call Centre" in which the beleaguered staff suffers the slings and arrows of dense, rude, racist callers from the U.K. and U.S.