Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The revenge begins

Wherein the revenge begins...crap, I said that already

I'm not just grumbling about soccer, I'm about to do something about it. Yes, I will be coaching 4-5-year olds. Plan on half the time being spent practicing the "Italian" maneuver:
  1. Divide into pairs.
  2. Player 1 lightly taps player 2 on the shoulder.
  3. Player 2 falls to the ground screaming.
  4. For advanced players, I'll add grabbing the face and rolling around as if you are suffering convulsions.


Blogger Icepick said...

It's good to see you're letting this go, 'cause that bottled up anger can eat you alive.

6/28/2006 09:57:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

Forgot to mention I'm supposed to come up with my own team name. I'm leaning towards FIFA Fuckwads, but am open to other suggestions.

6/28/2006 10:27:00 AM  
Blogger Icepick said...

Hmm, the parents might object. (Or might not, based on what a friend tells me about the Little League his children participate in.)

Maybe find the Italian translation of "fuckwads". Most likely no one will know what that means, and you can bullshit your way through it. "Oh, that's a small club to which I'm inordinately attached. They're from Northern Italy, and (fuckwad in Italian) is the name of the local glass manufacturor who owns the club."


6/28/2006 01:41:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

I'll pull a physics book off the shelf when I get home. I think I'm looking for a name of something--like subatomic particles--that randomly bounces off each other. I think this would be an apt description for a youth soccer team.

6/28/2006 04:21:00 PM  
Blogger Icepick said...

You're thinking of Brownian Motion, I think.

The physical phenomenon that minute particles, immersed in a fluid, move about randomly

6/28/2006 06:12:00 PM  

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