Sunday, April 22, 2007

April 22, 2007 to April 28, 2007

Wherein what it is ain't exactly clear


Blogger bill said...


Today is Sunday. It is sunny, today. Tomorrow is Monday. I think it will also be sunny.

4/22/2007 03:32:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

If You Know What I Mean

Euphemistic breakfast phrases:

*Toast your bagel, ...

*SCramble your eggs, ...

*Would you like jam with that, ...

*How do like your coffee, ...

*I like my yogurt with the fruit on the bottom, ...

*Cap'n Crunch or Total, ...

*Butter your biscuit, ...

4/23/2007 10:39:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

Greatest American athlete of the 20th century? Matt Welch quoting Colby Cosh:

But when you break it down, it makes a lot of sense. Robinson was an all-American halfback at UCLA -- maybe the best open-field rusher of his day -- at a time when pro football was in its infancy. He was a national champion as a long jumper. With the basketball Bruins, he led his conference in scoring twice. If the Olympics hadn't been cancelled by war during his prime years, he would probably have been a multiple track medalist (his brother won silver in the 200-metre in 1936, finishing behind only Jesse Owens). Baseball was never his strongest sport -- it was merely where the opportunity was. Add it all up, and who can present a resume that remotely compares? Bo Jackson? Maybe, if Bo had been a Hall of Fame infielder instead of a mediocre outfielder, and had been capable of playing in the NBA and had been Carl Lewis in his spare time.

4/23/2007 11:30:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

Bildo? Maybe if I was Hobbit. Then again, my feet could do with a good shave.

4/23/2007 12:19:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

Couldn't remember if Yeltsin made it into The Devil is My Friend. Yeah, this was a little early for him.

Jazz Butcher:

And Godzilla is my friend
Godzilla is my friend
Wherever I go, Godzilla goes
Godzilla is my friend

And Frank Sinatra is my friend
Frank Sinatra is my friend
Wherever I go Sinatra goes
Frankie is my friend

Chenenko was my friend
And Brezhnev was my friend
And Andropov he just dropped off
Now Gorbachev is my friend

4/23/2007 05:48:00 PM  
Blogger XWL said...

Wherein what it is ain't exactly clear

A philosophical question:

Given that a thing like a blog can be described as 'what it is ain't exactly clear', would it be possible for that same thing to be described as 'what it ain't is precisely clear'?

4/23/2007 10:23:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

Philosophy and logic--there's a whole bunch of classes I never got around to taking. So excuse me while I muddle through this.

Possible: There's a problem word. One that is to blame for too many lawsuits. Seeing as how we have neither proved nor disapproved the exitence of alien life forms it is *possible* that spaceships are swooping down and anal-probing Earth's citizens. But not *probable*.

So it is possible that the statements are mirror images of each other. Or some sort of IF/THEN statement: IF A is unknown, THEN B is known. But that sounds presumptious. But it also sounds like a lot of political discourse: Sure if said A, but since you've not said anything about B, then I think you're a C. And ain't that fun.

Than again what it ain't is precisely clear is a mathematical probability, so it needs to be considered. It seems to me that "what it ain't" is defined against "what it is." Now, and let's keep this about blogs for a moment, you could a post, or a day's worth, or a week's worth, and create a little table of ain'ts and ises. This might correct for that day post, or day, or week. But it seems to me there could be an infinite number of "what it ain'ts." Unless you have an equally infinite tote board and every time an ain't gets crossed out, an opposite is is also identified and crossed out. So the ain'ts wouldn't be infinity, but half of infinity?

Or we could just go with the fact that however I define a thing here, or do not define a thing here, that ultimately I have no control how the reader will respond and interpret and define.

There's imperfect and incomplete knowledge. You could do all that above, but what if the next statement alters the previous statement. Does this define the ain'ts or the ises?

And what if it referred to a urine sample? What's clear then?

4/24/2007 07:57:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

Always liked Lileks' definition of wingnut:

The term “wingnut” is not as harsh and cutting as you might expect. Personally, I don’t like any of these terms – moonbats, repugs, democraps, etc. (Except for “idiotarian.” I like it because it’s ecumenical.) They’re usually shorthand for broad concepts held by people whose views on other matters may be divergent. Not very helpful. In any case, have you tried to use a wingnut? They’re quite handy if you want to tighten something and you don’t have a wrench. I assume it’s short for “right wing nut,” but if you look at a wingnut, it has two wings. Left and right. You could say it understands both wings, even though it prefers to turn in a clockwise direction.

4/24/2007 09:08:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

4/24/2007 02:49:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

If the internet was a country

4/24/2007 03:05:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

Checking the Soquoted calendar: Says I'll be in Minneapolis in two weeks for a conference.

Yes, I talked my company into spending a few thousand dollars so I can sit in meetings and classes for 5 days because what I really want is a stack of pancakes from Al's Breakfast.

4/25/2007 10:10:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

Note to self: It is not a fireable offense to shoot at cars.

4/25/2007 05:40:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

Elephant Song, Barry Longyear.

This, it seems, was only the beginning. Waxy had been so angry about Stew and Diamonds being driven out of townthat he had "officially" anulled Poge Loder's marriage to Baggage Horse Betty, effectively making bastards out of of Poge's three children. In retaliation, Poge publicly accused Dot the Pot of adulterating with Waxy. When Dot learned of this, she broke Poge's nose. When Waxy learned of this, he "officially" annulled the wedding of Poge Loder's parents, making Poge a bastard in name as well as disposition.

Now, Poge never recognized any of Waxy's "official dissolutions," but his wife, Baggage Horse Betty, did, for reasons of her own, no doubt. And now that she was free and clear of Poge & Sons, she moved out and was beginning to let wheelwright Sunburst Sid call upon her. In Sunburst's house.

To make a complicated story less so, Waxy performed two weddings in absentia: Baggage Horse Betty to Sunburst Sid (purely an act of altruism to keep them from sin), and Poge Loder to his own mother (ending Poge's bastardism, but rendering his status something more colorful). Poge then set up his own marriage concession, arguing that if Waxy could, so could anyone. He then procedded to marry, in absentia, Dot the Pot to Daisy, a retired Percheron; and then he married Waxy to Waxy, telling Waxy in public and in person the full meaning of this enigmatic relationship.

All in all, the time was not ripe for a fifteen-year-old son to ask his father if he could marry a fourteen-year-old girl.

4/25/2007 08:57:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

Lost: I resurrect an old theory of mine that the plane did not crash. They were knocked unconscious and brainwashed to believe they were in a crash. Everyone woke up on the beach.

Of course, it now occurs to me after I wrote the preceding sentences making it too late to back and delete and edit, opening this season from the Others POV as they watched the plane crash sorta kinda most definately invalidates that theory.


4/25/2007 11:36:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

REO Speedwagon was pictured in the photo on Page 2 of Thursday’s Get Out section. The caption misidentified the group as Styx.

4/26/2007 05:46:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

I thought it was "Fudgie the Whale."

Tom Carvel, the godfather of soft serve ice-cream, flying saucer ice-cream sandwiches and Wally The Whale ice cream cakes was murdered, alleges his niece.

4/26/2007 10:40:00 AM  
Blogger bill said...

MC Hawking

The Mighty Stephen Hawking
I am the mighty Stephen Hawking,
I am dope like LSD,
I am fly I kick it old school,
I'll tell you that for free.
On the stage I rock the mic,
my science is so tight,
other rappers best step off,
I'm bad like Dolamite.

What We Need More Of Is Science
Not to put too fine a point upon it,
but the whole new age movement is full of shit.
Please allow me to elaborate,
explicate, expatiate.
from astral projection to zygomancy its a,
mish mash of idiocy.
Instead of the archaic worship of seasons,
they should explore logic and reason.

4/26/2007 12:56:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

Office lesson for the day: give blood AFTER going to lunch. Especially if it's a late lunch. And sushi. Otherwise, it kinda kills the blood sugar. We're already on edge around here today, so passing out, vomiting, calls to 911, not a big help. Here, slam a coke and a couple of cookies and get back in the game.

4/26/2007 03:24:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

Email: if you tune in to BBC Radio 2 tomorrow you'll hear Martha Wainwright as the special guest on Jonathon Ross' show. She'll be talking about her current shows at the Royal Opera House with the Royal Ballet and might mention how work on the follow-up to her debut is coming along.

For folks outside of the UK or anyone who misses it you can tune in live or listen again for the next week online at

4/27/2007 01:45:00 PM  
Blogger reader_iam said...


4/27/2007 06:41:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...


4/27/2007 07:52:00 PM  

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