Quoted

Wherein So


Recognize this documentary?

This is really wonderful. If we go along with you and lie our asses off, the world of truth and ideals is, er, protected. But if we don't want to take part in some giant rip-off of yours then somehow or other we're managing to ruin the country. You're pretty good, Jim. I'll give you that.

Ok, how about this one:

The Taxman: You just docked.

Consumer: I has.

The Taxman: Ah ha, let's see here, that'll be 25 cents docking tax.

Consumer: What for?

The Taxman: Where's your sea craft?

Consumer: It ain't no sea craft, it's me dinghy and it's under the wharf.

The Taxman: Ah ha. aah-ha. This your goods?

Consumer: They is.

The Taxman: Yeah. You're new in town right?

Consumer: If you call this a town, yes.

The Taxman: Well, first of all, there's 17 cents new in town tax, and there's 45 cents rowboat-under-the-wharf tax, and one dollar leaving-your-junk-lying-around-the-wharf tax, so all together, you owe the Commodore $1.87.

Consumer: Uh, who's this Commodore?

The Taxman: Is the nature of question? There's a nickel question tax.