Emails from human resources

These are real. And this is a good week. The 4th floor women's restroom is like the Bermuda triangle for cell phones.

• Keys found in the 4th floor women’s bathroom
  
• cellphone was found in the 1st floor women’s bathroom
  
• There is a black BMW on the upper lot that is taking up two parking spaces. Please adjust your car.
  
• Found: red Sprint Sanyo cellphone
  
• Black Dodge Intrepid: Upper parking lot, hazard lights flashing
  
• A cell phone was found in the 4th floor ladies’ restroom
  
• There is a black Ford Expedition in the top lot, license number AFN 1217, with a flat tire
  
• There is a green BMW with Dekalb County tags whose lights are on
  
• There was a silver coffee mug with a straw in it found in the second floor women’s bathroom