Monday, January 23, 2006

Fixing the Olympics

Wherein you begin to learn of the idyllic nature that would be your life in Billszakistan


Problem: too many sports in the Olympics.
Soultion: Eliminate.

I'm shocked. I was sure more events would be eliminated. Apparently, NBC clutters up their programming with what I don't want to see. Considering E.R. is still on, I am not surprised. Is there anything on NBC I watch other than Earl and West Wing? Can't think of anything.

For the winter games, I'm only eliminating 4 2/3 disciplines. For the summer games, I've eliminated 5 disciplines. Scroll down and take a look...notice anything in common? That's right, I am eliminating all nonsport events. Which is not to say these people aren't athletes - they are. Many of them are incredible athletes; but this is about competition and beating your opponent, not performing in front of a judge.

I am tired of the irregularities we often see in judging events like gymnastics, and figure skating, and diving. There is just too much discrepancy to account for honest opinions. What we see is favoritism and nationalism. Not to mention abominations like synchronized swimming and rythmic gymnastics that should be stricken from the face of the earth.

In my Olympics, you win by scoring more points, being more accurate, going faster, farther, higher. In affect, being categorically and undeniably better. There is no waiting for the judges to add points and have their "judgement" clouded by comparing one performer to another. You win. You lose. You go home.

And boxing is just corrupt. If someone can figure out a way to score it fairly, I'll let it back in. I've left judo and Taekwondo in because it is my assumption the scoring is understood and fair. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I love watching ski jumping, always wanted to do it. But it isn't a sport. There are style points involved and if the jumpers start flying too far they start over. Fix it or take it away.

I have left one real sport on the list and that's tennis. An event in the Olympics should be a unique gathering of talent, but what do we have with tennis? Just another professional tour event with with fewer names. Is Olympic tennis much different than watching Wimbledon? I say the competition is the worse for it.

There you go. No judges, just harder, faster, stronger, longer.

Winter Olympics
FIGURE SKATING (4 events)
FREESTYLE SKIING (2 events)
NORDIC COMBINED (3 events)
SKI JUMPING (3 events)
SNOWBOARDING
Halfpipe: M | W
PGS: M | W
Snowboard Cross: M | W

ALPINE SKIING (5 events)
BIATHLON (5 events)
BOBSLED (2 events)
CROSS-COUNTRY SKIING (8 events)
CURLING
ICE HOCKEY (men and women)
LUGE
SHORT TRACK (4 events)
SKELETON (men and women)
SPEED SKATING (7 events)

Summer Olympic
Boxing
Diving
Gymnastics
Synchronized Swimming
Tennis

24 track and field events
Archery
Badminton
Baseball
Basketball
Canoeing
Cycling
Equestrian
Fencing
soccer
Handball
Field Hockey
Judo
Modern Pentathlon
Rowing
Sailing
Shooting
Softball
Swimming
Table Tennis
Taekwondo
Triathlon
Volleyball
Water Polo
Weightlifting
Wrestling

2 Comments:

Blogger Pooh said...

The Wing has been cancelled. I'm actually ok with it, as aside from a few exceptions, the post-Sorkin/Schlamme version is a pale reflection of the first 4 years.

It's possible that the last 3 years have been higher than average quality network TV, but I can't be objective considering were it came from.

1/23/2006 04:10:00 PM  
Blogger bill said...

Agreed. Last night's episode was insufferable (oh my God, he lobbied for an evil nuclear power plant, that bastard), but I still enjoy many of the characters. Also think that Vinick and his staff are much more interesting than Santos.

My ideal would have been that Santos and Vinick both lost the party nomination, then joined forces for a third-party run that was successful. But, again, no one asked me.

1/23/2006 04:31:00 PM  

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