Blasphemy? Blasphe-you!

Wherein that which does not kill me just makes me tired


Renaming household items after the 7 Deadly Sins. Started at Immodest Proposals. And take a look at the Google Ads that display with his post:


Definitions for the 7 Deadly Sins.

1. Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities; also known as Vanity.
   
   The stereotypical male answer would probably be the grill. Personally, I'll say the iron. Yep, I can get rid of wrinkles with the best of them.
   
   
2. Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.
   
   Viking Professional Series VGIC Gas Sealed Burner Range, 48" and the kitchen to put it in.
   
   
3. Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
   
   XWL seconds Ruth Anne's suggestion that refrigerator's be called Gluttony. I will suggest that TIVO also ably fits the definition.
   
   
4. Lust Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
   
   XWL says "the bed." Hard to argue with that. Just for variety, I'll also add Viking Professional Series VGIC Gas Sealed Burner Range, 48"
   
   Just for kicks, here's a relevant quote from Cryptonomicon. In more detail, it's a letter from one of the characters that the others read during a demonstration of Van Eck phreaking provided by Pekka, AKA "The Finn who got blown up," the first victim of the Digibomber: This was the moment when I first came to terms with the fact that Virginia could not achieve orgasm unless she was in close proximity to—preferably on top of—a piece of heirloom-grade furniture that she owned.
   
   
5. Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.
   
   Khaaan! You want to see anger? That's me and MS Word or me and UPS. Or anything that requires assembly and tools.
   
   
6. Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual.
   
   Hmmm, I'm kinda with XWL and Gordon Gecko on this one. It's not the desire, it's the actions that should be called into question. I'll go with the most expensive and least necessary thing I own, all three of these. House catches on fire and I'm grabbing these on the way out.
   
   
7. Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.
   
   Ooh, that's an easy one: The Internet!.

Bonus lyrics

Flogging Molly
Seven Deadly Sins

Sail away where no ball and chain
Can keep us from the roarin' waves
Together undivided but forever we'll be free
So sail away aboard our rig
The moon is full and so are we
We're seven drunken pirates
We're the seven deadly sins

So the years rolled by and several died
And left us somewhat reelin'
Johnny strummed his Tommy gun
Left blastin' through the ceiling
So what became of rebels
Who sang for you and me?
Grapplin' with their demons
In the seach for liberty

Suffers who suffer all
Can swim upon the desert
Where avarice have ravaged all
In spite of good intentions
Don't fill your mouth with gluttony
For pride will surely swell
But nothing's unforgiven in the four corners of hell

Sail away where no ball and chain
Can keep us from the roarin' waves
Together undivided but forever we'll be free
So sail away aboard our rig
The moon is full and so are we
We're seven drunken pirates
We're the seven deadly sins
We're seven drunken pirates
We're the seven deadly sins

Envy and its evill twin
It crepy in bed with slander
Idiots they gave advice
But sloth it gave no answer
Anger kills the human soul
With butter tales of lust
While pavlov's Dogs keep chewin'
On the legs they never trust

Sail away where no ball and chain
Can keep us from the roarin' waves
Together undivided but forever we'll be free
So sail away aboard our rig
The moon is full and so are we
We're seven drunken pirates
We're the seven deadly sins
We're seven drunken pirates
We're the seven deadly sins

But It's the only life we'll know
Blagards to the bome
So don't wreck yourself
Take an honest grip
For there's more tales beyond the shore

Ah the years rolled by and several died
And left us somewhat reelin'
In and out came crawlin' out
And spewed upon the ceiling
So what became of rebels"
That sang for you and me
Grapplin; with their demons
In the seach for liberty

Sail away where no ball and chain
Can keep us from the roarin' waves
Together undivided but forever we'll be free
So sail away aboard our rig
The moon is full and so are we
We're seven drunken pirates
We're the seven deadly sins

Sail away where no ball and chain
Can keep us from the roarin' waves
Together undivided but forever we'll be free
So sail away aboard our rig
The moon is full and so are we
We're seven drunken pirates
We're the seven deadly sins
We're seven drunken pirates
We're the seven deadly sins
We're seven drunken pirates
We're the seven deadly sins