That's OK, in a couple years we'll be communicating with neural implants

Wherein in my day, if we wanted to make a phone call we had to stand in line at the one pay phone outside the principal's office and we liked it

Herr Professor has an idiot for an administrator:

Children are not allowed to have cell phones at school. So all of them do. Turns out, when an administrator or security officer notices a student with a phone, some of the kids complain that they see teachers using cell phones. Problem one: our school is starting to develop a culture in which the word of the student is taken over the word of the teacher. Here's the solution, as handed down by an administrator in whom my esteem has taken a severe plunge: teachers stop using cell phones.

So the plan to deal with misbehaving children is to treat the teachers like children? Nice. I thought I've worked under insulting conditions.

Like he says, "rank has it's privileges." Teachers get to use cell phones because they're teachers. And adults. They've earned that responsibility. As long as the teacher is making calls on his or her own time - breakroom, teacher's lounge, office - there is no problem. Just don't make calls at the desk while the students are taking a test.

I'll also say I don't have a huge problem with the kids using cell phones, with restrictions. Such as in the lunch room. Why would that be a problem. I probably wouldn't want to allow it in the hallways between classes, but I'll listen to the argument. No cell phones in the bathoom, classroom, or library.

I read this yesterday and when I got home I heard a cell phone story about our neighbor's child. He's a high school freshman (call him Fred) and has a friend (call him Jake) who is a bit of a troublemaker. Jake put his cell phone above the ceiling tiles and had others call it. Actually, that's kinda funny. Of course, cell phones are prohibited, so when Jake told Fred to call his cell phone, and a teacher happened to be standing right there, Fred was busted. Then an administrator found the hidden phone, was able to determine who owned it, and looked up the last few numbers that had called the phone and traced it back to their owners. Jake was suspended, along with many of the callers. Fred was disciplined, but not suspended, only because the teacher vouched that he called without knowing why.

Frankly, I find this to be a cute and harmless prank. Keep them after school an hour, but suspensions seem like drastic overkill. My thinking is, if you're kicking me out of school, I'm giving you a real reason to do so. On the other hand, these kids aren't too bright and deserved it. As a public service for gentle pranksters, let me help you pull this off in the future:

1. Buy a prepaid, disposable cell phone at some place like Target or the corner gas station. Pay with cash.
   
2. Hide the phone.
   
3. Call the phone, but REMEMBER to block your number. I think dialing *67 and then the phone number should do it. You should really test this on the target phone before hiding it.
   
4. Never tell anyone.

Or just buy this.

You're welcome.