Wednesday, September 05, 2007

SCANDAL: Roger Clemens guilty of using performance enhancing drugs

Wherein ended up with a bit of a mixed message below, but I'm sure we can all agree that it's impossible to spell professional sports without using the letters "hypocritical jackholes"

Source: NY Times.

Come on Major League Baseball, suspend his doping ass. This is absolutely no different from any other player using steroids or HGH. Why do athletes use performance enhancing substances? Because it allows the body to heal faster and enables the athlete to keep performing at as high a level as long as possible.
[Clemens] added, “It’s wear and tear, and we’re going to deal with it aggressively, as fast as possible, so I can continue on.”

How's he going to do that? A little ice, a little heat; maybe some extra vitamins and a wheat germ shake? No, he'll take a big ass needle, shove it in his body and pump in a bunch of chemicals.

There's responsible use when you push your body a little harder. Then there's irresponsible use when you push your body into possible permananent damage. Washington Post:
"Even if it takes multiple [shots], I'm willing to deal with that," Clemens said. "I'm not running out on these guys now. Until I can't do it any more, I'm going to continue to push forward."

Oh, won't someone think of the children. Here's a Public Service Announcement for them:
Hi, I'm Roger Clemens. Been working out extra hard, putting those extra miles in at the track? Bet your body feels sore and your joints ache. Maybe you'd like to take it easy and rest up for a day or so. Sure, if you're a pussy. Be like me, tell your body "You no help me now, I say, fuck you body, I do it myself...along with this suitcase of pharmaceuticals." Cortisone, what to take when your body won't listen to you.


Blogger Icepick said...

It should be noted that even with the performance enhancing chemicals, Roger Clemens still does not fart lollipops.

9/05/2007 04:02:00 PM  

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