Thursday, March 23, 2006

It depends on what the definition of support is

Wherein I once spent a year or two working as a clipboard person trying to conduct market research interviews in the mall. Probably why I hate people



Icepick is simul-blogging a survey from the Republican Party. I've lost this week's score card so I can't remember if being a member of the republican party makes one A) A god-loving Patriot, or 2) a Jr. Nazi with a foot fetish. I'll check email, I'm sure someone has sent me talking points on this.

Until then, you should read the whole thing, but I'll tempt you with a couple quotes:
Do you support the use of air strikes against any country that offers safe harbor or aid to individuals or organizations committed to further attacks on America?

Answer: 'Yeah', baby! Let's blow their asses up! Let's film it and sell the movie rights to defray the cost of the operations.

Do you continue to support increasing the amount of security at airports, train stations and all government buildings including monuments and museums?

Answer: Trick question! There's a difference between increasing the amount of security, and improving security. Increasing bad security measures isn't that helpful. Plus, it's a damn shame that so many public buildings are becoming less and less accessible. (This last bit predates both 9/11 and the current administration.) So let's check 'No'.

Do you think that teaching our children to read and increasing literacy rates should be a national priority?

Answer: Okay, what dolt ISN'T going to say 'Yes'? And if we get improved literacy, then perhaps the pollsters won't write such horrible sentences as the one in the question. Shouldn't that be 'national priorities'?

Do you support the election of Republican candidates across the country and rebuilding our majorities over the next ten years?

Answer: 'No'. That can be changed to a 'Yes', but only if the party returns to some sane principles concerning the size of the government, the scope of the government, and fiscal policy. Otherwise, why the hell should I care?

He's good to catch the trickiness of many of these questions. On his last answer there, what's this "only if the party returns to some sane principles..."? Returns? That's assuming an awful lot. I don't recall any party practicing "sane principles" about the size of government. Sure, they'll talk a good game when they're the minority party, but once in charge they become Emily Litella.

2 Comments:

Blogger Icepick said...

I've lost this week's score card so I can't remember if being a member of the republican party makes one A) A god-loving Patriot, or 2) a Jr. Nazi with a foot fetish.

The correct answer is #) All of the above.

3/23/2006 10:21:00 AM  
Blogger Icepick said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3/23/2006 10:23:00 AM  

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