Thursday, June 28, 2007

Stolen 'name that tune' meme, take 2

Wherein, let's try this one more time

First version was a bit obscure. Here's a new list with songs I think most people could recognize, mostly. There are a couple, depending on your age and your position on the radio dial, that might be outside your muscial knowledge. Meaning, nothing batshit crazy, here.

Not that it necessarily helps. Even from popular songs, lyrics pasted with no context are still unrecognizable. Posted on someone's blog I'd wager I'd only get #10.

  1. Saw a silhouette across a fluorescent
    Floating overhead, undoing his helmet
    Through the murky beams and blue-green sea life
    I saw him spinnin towards the moonlight

  2. So you feel misunderstood
    Baby, have I got news for you
    On being used, I could write a book
    You don't wanna hear about it

  3. Go on now go walk out the door
    just turn around now
    'cause you're not welcome anymore
    weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye

  4. She sits alone waiting for suggestions
    He's so nervous avoiding all her questions
    His lips are dry, her heart is gently pounding
    Don't you just know exactly what they're thinking?

  5. you know you did, you know you did you know you did -- Just the one line, any other 2 lines would make it too easy

  6. Don't let them fool ya,
    Or even try to school ya! oh, no!
    We've got a mind of our own,
    So go to hell if what you're thinking is not right!

  7. You let all my friends come over and meet
    And you were so strange
    You didn't have the decency to change the sheets

  8. I'm not superstitous...
    About what?
    About you But I can't take no chance
    You got me spinnning Spinning
    Baby I'm in a trance

  9. Wind blows cold from the west
    I smell coffee, I smell doughnuts for the press (on their breath?)
    A girl that I knew once years ago
    Is tryin' to be reached on the phone

  10. I play along with the charade
    There doesn't seem to be a reason to change
    You know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute
    I want to tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot

So I won't have to edit this with the correct answers, I'm borrowing xwl's inviso-text idea. Highlight the following blank space to reveal the songs.

1. Air, Ben Folds Five
2. Strong Enough, Sheryl Crow
3. I Will Survive, Cake/Gloria Gaynor
4. Do Ya Think I'm Sexy, Rod Stewart
5. Live and Let Die, Guns & Roses/Wings
6. Could You Be Loved, Bob Marley & the Wailers
7. When You Were Mine, Prince
8. Knock On Wood, Otis Redding & Carla Thomas
9. The Ledge, Replacements
10. Jessie's Girl, Rick Springfield

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

More Evan Almighty

Wherein I should probably leave this alone

There's a review up Baptistsforbrown2008 (Sam Brownback) that includes the following:

Universal Pictures Propaganda hopes to have a summer hit with the June 22 release of Evan Almighty AKA The Passion of the Ark.  This sequel to the lack luster and equally as offensive, Bruce Almighty, is described as : A self-obsessed congressman learns the value of helping others when he is told by God to build an ark to prepare for a flood. 

Where is the humor to be found in this? I suppose the producers of this film are banking on the return of Morgan Freeman, as a nasty talking, ghetto-acting, colored Lord and Savior, will appeal to enough people to fill the theaters.  I think not. 

And the first comment is:
From what I have read the story is unsmutty and fairy respectful of the Biblical account. That is quite a rarity in town run by Liberal Jews and Homosexuals. So I was thinking about taking my grandchildren to it.

But apparently, it is poisoned with all sorts of liberal tree-hugging “Global Warming” nonsense propaganda. And, of course, having the Lord portrayed as a black man was the final straw.

My family will NOT be seeing this trash.


Real people or parody site? This needs more research.

Stolen 'name that tune' meme

Wherein I probably couldn't recognize the lyrics to my own music.

Tosy and Cosh posted lyrics to ten songs and expected us to guess. Since I came nowhere near to recognizing anything he posted, I decided I can do that, too.

Guess, you magnificent bastards, guess!

New: now with answers!

  1. Fresh and Delishussss, Voodoolulu
    You just lost your job your girlfriend split
    and your metrocard ran out
    Your rent is past the phone ain't ringing
    the IRS they got your bank account
    your dealers downtown the sharks are knocking

  2. Tears on my pillow, Little Anthony and the Imperials
    If we could start anew
    I wouldn't hesitate
    I'd gladly take you back
    And tempt the hand of fate

  3. Jerk Out, The Time
    I took her to my crib and I laid her down. Her body felt kinda right.
    Maybe I was wrong but what the hell, I figured that was what she liked.
    I said Baby, don't get too comfortable, cuz I really like to sleep alone.

  4. Jack Ruby, Camper Van Beethoven
    'Cause he's a friend of that cloven-hoofed gangster the devil
    He's been seen with the sheriff and the police
    Drinking whiskey and water after hours, saying
    "Let's do business, boys. The drinks are on me."

  5. Let Me In, R.E.M.
    I only wish that I could hear you whisper down,
    Mister fisherman, to a less peculiar ground.
    He gathered up his loved ones and he brought them all around
    To say goodbye, nice try.

  6. Still Thrives This Love, k.d. lang
    I often question
    Is it so
    Life's contradictions
    Tend to grow
    Spawning the choices
    And the woe

  7. If U Ever, Sinead O'Connor
    U got into your car and drove as far
    As u could and even further
    And no matter how I sang
    I just never can
    Stop needing your hand

  8. Hey a Movie!, Kermit the Frog & other Muppets (The Muppet Movie)
    There'll be crooks and cops!
    There'll be villainy!
    But with us on call
    We'll fix it all real easily

  9. Cloud Dancing, Roches
    Every morning I get up
    Beautiful as the Goddess
    Of Love in Enchanted Mountain.
    Every night I go to bed
    Seductive as Yang Kuei-fei,
    The imperial concubine

  10. Love Circles, Squeeze
    You're wearing matching dressing gowns
    You think your life times just begun
    You cut the cake but just the one slice
    You're crawling back all through the night

Update: Have I ever mentioned that I rarely pay attention to lyrics? If I looked at this list again in an hour I'd feel good if I remembered more than two. Even for me, this is a messed up collection of music. There's maybe four songs on here I'd care to listen to.

Probably should have deleted this list and created a new one.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Is Evan Almighty Christian heresy but not in disagreement with Islamic texts?

Wherein should Steve Carrell be under a fatwa? Don't worry about Morgan Freeman, no one would dare mess with him.

Did Universal's pricey comedy "Evan Almighty" suffer an identity crisis heading into its opening weekend? They spent $175 million to make this movie? Wow, I don't think they're making this back.

From my limited understanding of the bible, I'd always heard that God promised Noah that He would never again destroy all living creatures on earth, Genesis 8:21:
And the Lord smelled a sweet savour, and said: I will no more curse the earth for the sake of man: for the imagination and thought of man's heart are prone to evil from his youth: therefore I will no more destroy every living soul as I have done.

And the King James Version

What does this mean? Was there a vow made and the creator's of Evan Almighty would have to ignore all theological teachings to make their movie? Here's one explanation:
The covenant of God with Himself was occasioned by the sacrifices offered up by Noah (Genesis 8:20). God’s resolve was to never again destroy the earth by a flood (cf. 9:11). I understand the words, “… I will never again curse the ground on account of many… ” (verse 21), to be parallel with the following expression, “… and I will never again destroy every living thing as I have done” (verse 21).96

The reason for God’s resolve is based upon the nature of man: “For the intent of man’s heart is evil from his youth” (Genesis 8:21).

Righteous Noah (6:9) will soon be found naked in a drunken stupor (9:21). No matter how many times the earth’s slate is wiped clean by a flood, the problem will remain if but one man exists. The problem is within man—it is his sinful nature. His predisposition toward sin is not learned, it is innate—he is “evil from his youth.” As a result, a full restoration must begin with a new man. This is what God historically purposed to accomplish.

This purpose is partially expressed in verse 22: “While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.”

Jack Miles, author of God: A Biography offers the following in a Q&A for another book--speaking of God's misgivings:
After some time has passed, he is so distressed with the behavior of their descendants that he "is sorry that he had made humankind on the earth" (Genesis 6:6) and proposes to exterminate them. In the end, he makes an exception for Noah; but despite his promise never again to destroy the world by flood, there is little reason to believe that all his regrets are behind him. Noah's children are by no means their father's equal in virtue. In the flood narrative as well, though the subject of free will is not discussed, one might well say, following your intuition, that God's reservations about human free will have grown even greater. (One might as easily say, though, free will being so much a part of what it means to be human, that he has reservations about his human creatures themselves.)

Reading through a description of the Koran's version, the Lord does not seem to make a pact of future nondestruction:
Noah said: "O my Lord! I seek refuge with You from asking You that of which I have no knowledge. And unless You forgive me and have Mercy on me, I would indeed be one of the losers."

It was said: "O Noah! Come down (from the ship) with peace from Us and blessings on you and on the people owho are with you(and on some of their offspring), but (there will be other) people to whom We shall grant their pleasures (for a time), but in the end a painful torment will reach them from Us." (Ch 11:41-48 Quran)

With the issue of the divine command, calm returned to earth, the water retreated, and the dry land shone once again in the rays of the sun. The flood had cleansed the earth of the disbeliveers and polytheists.

Noah released the birds, and the beats which scattered over the earth. After that the believers disembarked. Noah put his forehead to the ground in prostration. The survivors kindled a fire and sat around it. Lighting a fire had been prohibited on board so as not to ignite the ship's wood and burn it up. None of them had eaten hot food during the entire period of the floor. Following the disembarkation there was a day of fasting in thanks to Allah.

The Quran draws the curtain on Noah's story. We do not know how his affairs with his people continued. All we know or can ascertain is that on his deathbed he requested his son to worship Allah alone, Noah then passed away.


Or should heresy be replaced with blasphemous? For the record, I haven't seen the movie, never read the bible, never read the Koran, so I really got nowhere to go with this.

From Dr. James Dobson:
Finally, I was concerned about the rewriting of the story of Noah and his ark. “God,” played charmingly by Morgan Freeman, told the new Noah character that the first flood occurred because the people hadn’t done enough “acts of random kindness" (as in A.R.K. Get it?). God destroyed the world and its inhabitants, the contemporary god said, not to punish a wicked and perverse generation as we read in Genesis 6, but as a benign object lesson to encourage people to be nicer to each other. It was bad theology and a radical distortion of Scripture.

Review from U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishop's Office for Film and Broadcasting:
Director Tom Shadyac and screenwriter Steve Oedekerk skillfully mix slapstick with sentiment and surprising reverence. The script has admirable pro-family and pro-environmental themes, the latter providing sensible rationale for the biblical events as they play out.

All these elements are beautifully embodied in Carell's seriocomic central performance. Early on, Carell gets to do his comic shtick, including being bitten in the crotch by a mutt, shaving his nostril hair in an extended montage, and coping with the swarm of birds that poop on his suit as they perch on his head.

But as he starts to morph into Noah, with a beard he simply cannot shave off, and rough-hewn ancient robe he cannot remove, the funny shenanigans subside and he projects warmth and humanity through his eyes alone. Frankly, Carell's playing Noah and indeed the central section of the "serious" part of the story are far better done than the comparable John Huston sequence in 1966's "The Bible."

From MovieGuide:
The best thing about the movie is that it takes God and the Bible seriously, though it doesn’t delve too deeply into these subjects. There are even a couple references to the New Testament, including a reference to alpha and omega, one of the important designations of Jesus Christ in the Book of Revelation. And, the movie contains references to serving God and obeying God, even in the little things, under the heading of doing little “acts of random kindness.”

Other than these things, however, there is a pantheistic, heretical description at one point, where God is said to live inside everything. Of course, this is a false interpretation of God’s omnipresence, which actually means that everything in the universe is immediately in the presence of God, who exists outside of space and time but who is intimately involved with every aspect of the physical universe, including all of humanity.

Also, despite the one allusion to Jesus Christ, the movie does not make it clear that, when God appears to us in human form, he always appears as Jesus Christ as noted in John 1. Thus, EVAN ALMIGHTY should have had more overt references to Jesus when the God character appears. As a result, the movie may be confusing to Christians, especially Christian children, and mislead non-Christians about the real nature of God. In spite of the movie’s excellent use of some biblical references, therefore, the movie is still too coy about the Jesus issue. Ultimately, the movie is a lightweight and light-hearted exploration of God that avoids getting too explicit.

From American Family Association:
In essence, Evan Almighty presents a false view of the gospel, and the words of the late John Gerstner, a former professor of church history, best describe this theological problem. Gerstner said, "The thing that really separates us from God is not so much our sin, but our damnable good works."

After watching the film, viewers -- especially non-believers -- are likely to walk away with the perception that good deeds lead to a perfect life, while human effort leads to redemption.

So choosing whether or not to see Evan Almighty could

If people truly understood the scope of what's happened to Louisiana, the rest of the nation should be terrified of future national disasters

Wherein doesn't sound good

From Chris DeBarr:
Since we managed to cobble up enough money to pay off our mortgage on our old home, that didn't leave with much money leftover. We needed to sell that property to give us a chance at sanity, to escape the vicious circle of claustrophobia and doom that living with 20 cats in a four room 900 sq ft apartment can do when your life and city you used to have has been eradicated by broken federal levees. We sold the house for the land value, plus about $7,000 for a grand total of $80,000.

Our house was big. We got it for a good price because the original owners had died and nobody in their family wanted it, and because the house next door was a complete disaster. Eventually, we had great, new neighbors who fixed up that house -- which is now worth over $400,000. Our house was pegged at $305,000 by the Road Home as its value on Aug. 28, 2005 before the hurricane hit and the levees collapsed. It would seem to me that it's painfully obvious that there was a discrepancy between the number we were able to sell our badly damaged home at and the value of my old home. To me, the numbers indicate that our home equity, our only significant investment, was stolen from us by the federal flooding of New Orleans.

However, because we were forced to sell our old property to secure enough money to buy our new home, a much smaller home that we really like -- in a much more dangerous New Orleans neighborhood, a neighborhood that, again, we really like despite its awful reputation, we are being told we will get zero from The Road Home. Oh, if we'd waited like good children for the real estate speculators to come up with their grand scheme, we could've stayed in our little apartment for 6-10 more nerve-wracking months, and we'd have been paid $150,000 to begin looking for a new home. So because we are committed to New Orleans, because we are committed to each other, because we were lucky to get some insurance money from the rapacious corporate insurance bandits, because of these and so many other incredible twists of fate, we should be penalized at least $70,000 and given no recompense for our old home from the federal government. If only I could live life as slow as a zombie bureaucrat, I could've lived this life in recovering New Orleans as pure FEMA data waiting soulessly for my chance to hear that now -- almost two years later -- I could imagine having a new home. Instead, we've made it back on our own road home; unfortunately for us, that's not acceptable to the zombies who govern over this national disaster.

PZB adds, a bit more angrily:
...I would add only our sorrow and disappointment that the people who bought our old house have turned out to be such hateful, lying sacks of shit. It would have been possible for us to sign over the Road Home grant to them and still get the money. We were willing to give them -- flat-out give them -- a third of the grant for doing so. As well as getting a house in an obviously up-and-coming neighborhood for the price of the land, they would have received $50,000 scot-free. Instead, they made us a counteroffer of $15,000 -- a tenth of what the program believed we had coming to us. Let me make sure that's quite clear to you: of our Road Home grant, the money that was supposed to make us financially whole, they wanted to take $135,000 and give us $15,000. They justified their miserliness by saying they didn't want to be tied to the requirements of the Road Home covenant, which would require them to live in the house for at least three years. This I could understand ... except that, when I sold them the house, all I heard was, "Oh, this is the neighborhood where I grew up, I can't wait to live here again, blah, blah, blah, jackoff, jackoff, jackoff." Now they claim these words never passed their lips and that they just want to restore and "flip" the house as soon as possible -- yet they've done no visible work except for hauling some of the flooded crap out of the basement. The house looks sad and derelict, and I've gone from being grateful that they wanted to fix it up and love it to hoping it falls on their spoiled, fat-cat, whitebread heads.

From the Times-Picayune, LRA shifts $577.5M to Road Home shortfall:
The Louisiana Recovery Authority on Monday voted to shift $577.5 million in federal block grants previously slated for infrastructure repairs to the beleaguered Road Home program, boosting to $1 billion the state's contribution to a shortfall now estimated at $4.4 billion.

In line with a plan unveiled Sunday by Gov. Kathleen Blanco, the LRA voted to redirect $300 million previously allocated for a new charity hospital in New Orleans and $277.5 million for state building repairs to plug the Road Home gap. Blanco and key legislators have agreed to tap state coffers to cover those costs.

The reallocations, along with $373 million from the state Legislature and $50 million that the LRA carved out of other recovery spending areas Monday, would bring the total state contribution to $1 billion. The Legislature must approve the changes.

LRA members on Monday chose not to earmark to the Road Home $513 million that was freed up this month when Congress and the White House agreed to waive the requirement that local governments pay 10 percent of the cost of all reconstruction projects.

They instead decided to place the money in a rainy-day fund that could be shifted to the Road Home program if Congress doesn't come though. The money also could be used as a revolving fund to cover a temporary Road Home shortfall if additional federal dollars arrive slowly and delay payments to homeowners, Kopplin said.

That decision came as a disappointment to parishes and other public and non-profit entities across the state, whose leaders had hoped the money would be divvied up immediately for local infrastructure repairs, as has been long promised by the LRA.

"Right now it's sort of in limbo land waiting for our negotiations," he said. "We still have a half-billion dollars in reserve. We can leave that on the side, hope to give it to the parishes, but have it in case we have cash-flow issues."

Louisiana's Road Home program, federally funded by $7.5 billion, was started to aid people like Mona Jones. More than 138,000 have registered. So far fewer than 21,000 have received any money. New Orleans officials say at that rate it will be years before many residents can afford to return.

Monday, June 25, 2007

...and then you go home and stay up all night blogging with people who look like the Unabomber. It’s not healthy

Wherein I kept thinking I'd like to see Immodest Proposal's take on the subject

Boomsday, Christopher Buckley: So we've gone from 'Don't trust anyone over thirty' to 'Don't drink any scotch under thirty'? Is this what's become of your revolution?

The country is at a breaking point. So overextended in six wars that other countries are taunting us to invade them. Inflation is skyrocketing, Japan has stopped buying our debt, and with baby boomers hitting retirement age, the social security system is beyond repair:
“Mountainous debt, a deflating economy, and seventy-seven million people retiring. The perfect economic storm.” Not bad, Cass thought, making a mental note to file it away for the blog. “And what is the Congress doing? Raising taxes—on my generation—to pay for, among other things, a monorail system in Alaska.”

And there's the presidential candidate running soley on the under thirty vote:
"How do we even know they'll vote?" Randy asked. "They never do. They're too busy shrugging and putting out, what do you call it, attitude."

"Because we're going to scare the shit out of them. We're going to convince them that if they don't vote this time--for you, the 'No Worse Than The Others' candidate--they're not going to be able to afford iPods and Mocha Frappuccinos. They'll be too busy paying for bedpans for Boomers."

Amidst all this, the CASSANDRA blog proposes a way out: give tax breaks to boomers who promise to commit suicide--Voluntary Transitioning--at 65 or 70. If only 25% take up the offer, not only will social security be saved, but the country will actually make money. As the idea starts to be taken seriously, a presidential committee is formed:
Important personages are appointed to the commission, with instructions to--by all means--study the problem in all its complexity, get to the root of it, and report back to the very highest levels of government. Six, nine months go by, with occasional fifteen-second sound bites on the evening news of commissioners sternly telling witnesses that they were not coming clean with the commission; the witnesses replying that, really, they're doing their best (give us a break). In due course, the commission delivers its report. There is a day or two of news coverage. The media reports the findings, that the United States is about to run out of molybdenum, or be overcome by bacteria emanating from geese; or that filthy, disgusting Arabs have no right to own American seaports, no matter how moderate they are; or that the government has no disaster plan ready in the event an asteroid the size of Rhode Island lands in the Pacific Ocean; or that the CIA failed to detect the cold war, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Tehran embassy takeover, Grenada, Iran-contra, Iraq's invasion of Kuwait, Bosnia, the attack on the USS Cole, 9/11, Operation Iraqi Freedom, Operation Oh Shit, Now What?; or that really there was no excuse at all for launching those cruise missiles against Papua New Guinea.

These revelations are duly followed by grave tsk-tsking and chin rubbing and hand-wringing about how these vitally important issues are still being mishandled and even ignored by the government. The commissioners are officially thanked for their diligent efforts and given commemorative paperweights with the wrong middle initial. The president and the relevant cabinet secretaries and government officials pledge to give the commission's recommendations "the most serious consideration" (which is to say, none whatsoever), and everyone goes back to ignoring and mismanaging the vital issues.

Six months later, one of the ex-commissioners writes a pained and well-argued op-ed in The New YorK Times, complaining that nothing--not one single recommendation--has been acted upon. Whereupon a junior White House press secretary issues a pained, not-very-well-argued statement saying this is simply "not the case." Moreover, that as a result of the commission's "fine work," a number of things have been done, though he is not at liberty to go into details. Moreover, further study is needed, as this is --"indeed"--an issue of vital importance not only to the nation, but to all nations. And that's the end of it.

Review: entertaining fluff. The crossroads of politics and religion, the PR spin of the election season, and generational differences are all ripe for satirical exploitation. Boomsday falls short of being a "modest proposal." Instead, it substitutes pratfalls and gags for what could have been humor by way of the blood-covered stiletto. Whereas Thank You For Smoking made me want to buy a pack of cigarettes in support of personal rights while still point a j'accuse finger at the tobacco companies, this effort left me with a Yeah, we're fucked shrug of the shoulders. I enjoyed it, just expected it to be less cartoonish.

sidenote: This is the third Buckley book I've read, after The Whitehouse Mess and Thank You For Smoking. I enjoyed both and Thank You For Smoking is one of my favorites. The odd thing is I can't figure out why I've never read more of his books. Especially since many of his topics sounded interesting. Should I read them? I'm now thinking that his style is more Boomsday than Smoking--that of the wispy wit of pop culture political references--and while I'd enjoy them I'd also be disappointed.

Now that that is out of the way, here's what I need to read next:
  • Institutionalization of USABLITY, Eric Schaffer
  • About Face 3, The Essential of Interaction Design, Alan Cooper, Robert Reimann, and David Cronin

"Illogical? "Pathetic,” “confusing” and “hypocritical”

Wherein concerning the excommunication issue, to quote from a novel I'll review later where this tactic was used for a different issue: "Americans don't like to be told what to do by foreigners."

Giuliani, religion, and politics.

How about normal. Sometimes, oftentimes, life is complicated. To repeat, holding differing, even opposing viewpoints, is how we (at least the mentally healthy ones) get through the day. In fact, I don't see the big deal in saying "I'm personally against X and while I'd persuade others from participating in X I don't see where this is government's business." I'd find that attitude admirable in a politician.

If you graph your views and opinions on an X/Y plot and it's a straight line instead of some sort of scatter plot, you are lying or deranged; either way, untrustworthy...or maybe just too simpleminded to talk to. If Giuliani were running for Pope his views might be illogical and hypocritical. Since he isn't and he lives in a country where we allow (however decreasingly) people to make their own choices, there is no contradiction.

All of which I find kinda funny concerning Giuliani because one of my misgivings about him is what I see as an autocratic reflex to wield an intrusive government.

June 24, 2007 to June 30, 2007


PRONUNCIATION: hwâr-n, wâr-
ADVERB: In what way; how: Wherein have we sinned?
CONJUNCTION: 1. In which location; where: the country wherein those people live. 2. During which. 3. In what way; how: showed them wherein they were wrong.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Your team? Probably sucks

Wherein off-topic comments still go in the June 17, 2007 to June 23, 2007 post below

This is good news:

The international record of the United States men’s national team is .500 (189-189-111) for the first time in 489 official games, dating to 1937. The team reached the break-even point thanks to an 8-0-1 record under Coach Bob Bradley ahead of tomorrow night’s Concacaf Gold Cup semifinal match against Canada in Chicago.

Professional sports teams with sub-.500 records:


Buffalo Bills: 348-381-8
New York Jets: 326-393-8
Cincinnati Bengals: 266-342-1
Houston Texans: 24-56-0
Tennessee Titans: 354-379-6
San Diego Chargers: 350-367-11
Philadelphia Eagles: 488-533-25
Detroit Lions: 488-554-32
Atlanta Falcons: 258-374-6
Carolina Panthers: 96-105-0
New Orleans Saints: 249-364-5
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 193-304-1
Arizona Cardinals: 458-664-39
Seattle Seahawks: 242-257-0

Did you notice that every team in the NFC South is below .500? Keep the Panthers--they could reach .500 this year--the other three should be dissolved and their players thrown into a supplemental draft.

Atlanta Braves: 9650-9673*
Baltimore Orioles: 7841-8620*
Colorado Rockies: 1061-1214
note: both Chicago teams are above .500; surprised me
Florida Marlins: 1075-1198*
Kansas City Royals: 2963-3126
Los Angeles/Anaheim Angels: 3641-3753
Milwaukee Brewers: 2876-3218
Minnesota Twins: 7919-8548*
New York Mets: 3446-3773*
Oakland Athletics: 8001-8444*
Philadelphia Phillies: 8801-9990
San Diego Padres: 2822-3276
Seattle Mariners: 2262-2540
Tampa Bay Devil Rays: 610-914
Texas Rangers: 3442-3933
Toronto Blue Jays: 2378-2426*
Washington Nationals: 2937-3156

There's a trivia question: what do the teams with asterisks have in common? Guess away before the answer is revealed tomorrow.


Houston Rockets: 1404-1434
Charlotte Hornets: 542-574
Indiana Pacers: 1006-1094
Detroit Pistons: 2027-2209
Miami Heat: 534-582
Sacramento Kings: 1979-2258
Golden State Warriors: 2005-2337
Denver Nuggets: 964-1136
Washington Wizards: 1523-1796
Cleveland Cavaliers: 1155-1437
Dallas Mavericks: 754-1018
Toronto Raptors: 224-318
New Jersey Nets: 854-1246
Minnesota Timberwolves: 409-625
Los Angeles Clippers: 925-1667
Memphis Grizzlies: 124-418

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

A photograph depicts three dimensional images in two dimensions, inadvertantly creating a perfect Venn diagram

Wherein there is no point

Monday, June 18, 2007

June 17, 2007 to June 23, 2007

Wherein I'm starting a day late...I don't have anything to say, anyway

Sunday, June 10, 2007

June 10, 2007 to June 16, 2007

Wherein nothing but good music this week

One thing all right thinking people can agree on is that Thriller is a vastly overrated album.

Lyrics below are for Van Morrison's You Make Me Feel So Free. I am not sure if I've ever heard Mr. Morrison sing it. I have the copy sung by Sinead O'Connor off the No Prima Donna album. Interesting, first of all, in that it's a Van Morrison produced album of artists covering Van Morrison. Interesting, second of all, in being mostly deadly boring. It's like Morrison set out to prove that only he could sing his songs. Or in the case of Liam Neeson, dramatically read his songs. Two standouts--Sinead and Elvis Costello with Full Force Gale. I'm not much of a Costello fan, it's not that I dislike him, just can't work up much emotion either way and I've never had the desire to spend any money on him. Still, he occasionally cranks out a tune that stops me and Full Force Gale is one.

You can listen to both at my vox: No Prima Donna.

You Make Me Feel So Free

Some people spend their time just runnin' round in circles
Always chasing some exotic bird
I prefer to spend some time just listening for that special something
That I've never ever heard
I like a new song to sing, another show or somewhere entirely different to be
But baby you make me feel so free

And so I yearn for mistress calling me
That's the muse, that's the muse
But we only burn up with that passion
When there's absolutely nothing left to lose
I make it to spring and there's no bed of roses
Just more hard work and bad company
But baby you make me feel so free

I heard them say that you can have your cake and eat it
But all I wanted was one free lunch
How can I eat it when the man that's next to me, he grabbed it
Lord, he beat me to the punch

How can I even talk about freedom
When you know it's sweet mystery
But baby I wanna say that you make me feel so free

I'm gonna lay my cards just right down on the table
And spin the wheel and roll the dice
And whatever way it comes out
And whatever way it turns out
Well you know that's the price
Well I'll order again there's no need to explain
I just need somewhere to dump all my negativity

But baby you make me feel so free

What ya say what you say
What you say what you say what you say
Say it say it say it say it again

You make me feel so free.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

I've made a huge mistake

Wherein the Gators new fight song is "Final Countdown"

Billy Donovan and GOB separated at birth:

Sunday, June 03, 2007

June 3, 2007 to June 9, 2007

Wherein the World of Disney is a fine place, but I'm beholden to the place with all the naked mermaid statues. In a world of artificiality, would you prefer giant chipmunks or pert breasts wth erect nipples? Though, to be fair, the braless British mother at Typhoon Lagoon who didn't understand what would happen, and was quite oblivious, when frolicking in a pool of water whilst wearing nought but a thin white t-shirt was entertaining. Sorry, didn't have a camera with me. Then, at breakfast at Cinderella's castle, the Jasmine was obviously a belly button ring wearer when off-duty. Hey, when in the World, you takes your repressed sexuality wherever you can find it.

Weeki Wachee Mermaids: 60th anniversary will be July 27-29, 2007

Adventures Under The Spring Mermaid Camp: where we'll be in another 2-3 years

Save the mermaids

The Little Merman: a video diary of one man's attempt to wear a tail