Looking for banjo music

Wherein no, really


But not just any banjo. I'm looking for songs you wouldn't expect using banjo. So no Earl Scruggs. No bluegrass or country for that matter. Any sort of folk is probably out.

Examples:

• There's the Stereoliza song, "Corporate Logic."
  
• Feist's 1 2 3 4 has a nice banjo
  
• Dexy's Midnight Runners' Come On, Eileen.

That's the only three I can think of. Gotta be a lot more--I'd like to make the banjo the new cowbell.

"Come On, Eileen" might be pushing the limits of the folk restrictions, though it was such a huge pop hit I think it makes it. As opposed to Dolly Parton's "Stairway to Heaven." Excellent banjo use for a nonbanjo song. But it is Dolly Parton and that type of arrangement is to be expected. I'm looking for atypical uses, but send in whatever you have and we'll sort it out.

submitted:

• I'm Shipping Up to Boston, Dropkick Murphy's
  
• Casimir Pulaski Day, Sufjan Stevens
  
• "I Believe" by R.E.M
  
• Wilco/Uncle Tupelo?
  
• Doreen (mp3), Old 97s
  
• Lies, Violent Femmes

Doesn't anyone remember the one hit wonders of Prince, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Duran Duran, or ZZ Top?

Wherein 5 seconds to name 5 better choices


There's a high school reunion this month I won't be attending. High school wasn't a bad experience, I just see no pleasure in attending a high school football game and standing around a hotel ballroom with people I barely remember. It is also apparent that I experienced a different decade of the 1980s than some of my former classmates. Polled on our favorite music, here are the choices for 80s band and song:

Bon Jovi	Endless Love (Diana Ross & Lionel Richie)
Poison	Celebration (Kool and the Gang)
Motley Crue	Betty Davis Eyes (Kim Carnes)
Little River Band	Lady (Kenny Rogers)
Loverboy	The one that you Love (Air Supply)
Not Listed	None of the above

Or maybe this the demented reminiscing of just one disturbed committee member. For band, Not Listed is winning with 44%, with Loverboy next at 28%. For song, None of the above is doing even better with 60%. I am disappointed that it's Kenny Rogers with 0% of the vote and not Air Supply.

I don't expect them to program to my tastes, but offering choices that look like the 1980s high school reunion from hell doesn't engender feelings of good times. When I last attended a reunion, ten years ago, the music was typically generic. Nothing excessively lame, though the DJ's complete lack of any sort of ska was, well, lame.

Whole lot of WAGs

Wherein wind whistling through the tumbleweeds of my mind


Tuesday Trivia LXV

1. USC
   
2. Lee Iaccoca
   
3. Turkey
   
4. Dr. Frankenstein
   
5. quartz
   
6. Anthony Hopkins (I'm thinking Nixon and something else)
   
7. Based on Lola, the Safety Dance, and a vague memory of Henry the VIII, I'm guessing spelling is involved.

Never talking to you again

Wherein Husker Du


youtube: never talking to you again. From Zen Arcade. I don't own that, though I do have the tribute album Du Huskers: The Twin Cities Replay Zen Arcade. Go listen to the Prest Asbestus version.



There are things that I'd like to say
But I'm never talking to you again
There's things I'd like to phrase some way
But I'm never talking to you again

I'm never talking to you again
I'm never talking to you
I'm tired of wasting all my time
Trying to talk to you

I'd put you down where you belong
But I'm never talking to you again
I'd show you everywhere you're wrong
But I'm never talking to you again

I'm never talking to you again
I'm never talking to you
I'm tired of wasting all my time
Trying to talk to you

Currently reading

Wherein also reading Chris Rose's 1 Dead in Attic; also highly recommended



Caught the rebroadcast of author Nancy Isenberg on C-SPAN's Book TV last weekend and it was lively. Paraphrasing her presentation: "No one has done the work I've done. All other historians are lazy bastards lapping up the work of other lazy bastards. I actually went out and read stuff. Old stuff. I still have this nasty cough from being around all that old stuff."

Anyway, she was enjoyable, it's a period of history I wished I knew more about, and she sold me. Still early in the book -- just out of the Revolutionary War -- and I'd recommend it. What I've learned so far: Washington was a hesitant general prone to massive mistakes. Need to find a good book on the war because I'm thinking the only reason we won was France entering the war and the British then moving large numbers of their troops to the Caribbean. Also Hamilton is a venal little prick while Burr is virtuous and even tempered. I see a bit of foreshawdowing here and I'm guessing I'm still a few hundred pages away from where he starts screwing everything that isn't screwed down. Eighteenth century works mentioned that sound interesting: Mary Wollstonecraft's Vindication of the Rights of Woman (project Gutenberg) and Jean-Jacques Rousseau's Emile.

• NY Times review
  
• NY Sun review
  
• Nancy Isenberg's course listings sound entertaining.
  
• Aaron Burr Association. Their objectives: "To keep alive the memory of Colonel Aaron Burr as a student, a soldier, a lawyer, a politician, a patron of the arts, an educator, a banker, and as a husband and father" and "to secure for him the honor and respect which are due him as one of the leading figures of his age."

I fixed the map

Wherein Belgium is also hard to rhyme. Walloon is easier so I will for ever after refer to it as Walloonland


Background at ALOTT5MA


Map copied from here.

Earliest "Walloon" reference in the New York Times is October 11, 1853. From NY Times, January 3, 1883: FRANCE AND HER ENEMIES; TERRITORY THEY SEEK AND THE STATE OF HER ARMY:

“Read Boedecker's last edition of the "Guide to Belgium," and one can convince himself that Lille and Reissel are on the Belgian map, and that a line of separation of Flemish and Walloon populations from French populations is drawn from Leige to Calais. Boedecker gives no explanation of this innovation, nor have the Belgians yet announced when they propose to annex France; yet the work of the propagandism is actively pursued, and in the rural districts around Lille Belgian book-peddlers distribute gratuitously thousands of maps on which French Flanders is represented as incorporated with Belgium.

May 30, 1915, REMAKING THE MAP OF EUROPE; Jean Finot's Views on How Parts of Germany and Austria-Hungary Should Be Redistributed in Case the Allies Win.

Uncorrected Personality Traits

Wherein most days the innertoobs are a treasure trove of unimagined joy. Other times I think the whole thing should be burned to the ground and every human being made to stand in a corner for 20 years.


For some commenters, this is a perfect song, Robyn Hitchcock's Uncorrected Personality Traits



So, uncorrected personality traits
That seem whimsical in a child
May prove to be ugly in
A fully grown adult

If you give in to them
Every time they cry
They will become little tyrants
But they won't remember why
Then when they are thwarted
By people in later life
They will become psychotic
And they won't make an ideal husband or wife

Two from Eubie!

Wherein cast album from 1978

• If You've Never Been Vamped By a Brownskin, You've Never Been Vamped At All. Marion Ramsey & Company
  
• Gee, I Wish I Had Someone To Rock Me In The Cradle Of Love. Ethel Beatty. Immediately followed by duet with Gregory Hines -- Low Down Blues/Cradle of Love. This track is why I've remembered this show for almost 30 25 years. I had a huge crush on Ethel Beatty.
  

update: Changed to 25 because I saw this on the Showtime broadcast -- same cast -- from 1981/82.

And a October 2, 1978 review from Time magazine, Hot Feet, Vamps and Ragmatazz:

“Had the score been published when it was originally composed, people might first have gone wild about Eubie in 1899 when he wrote Charleston Rag. In that selfsame year Scott Joplin turned out Maple Leaf Rag. Eubie had an unlikely background for a composer. The son of ex-slaves, he had dropped out of school at 15. He was the only one of eleven children to live to maturity. Ragtime was regarded as indecent music; his mother never permitted him to play it in the house. Initially, Eubie toured the vaudeville circuit with Singer Noble Sissle. In 1921, with Sissle as lyricist, the pair scored a national breakthrough with Shuffle Along, the first Broadway musical ever to be produced, directed, composed and performed solely by blacks.

Through an interesting process of historical change, Eubie! probably owes its existence to the current vogue for all-black musicals. Ironically, where a Shuffle Along, a Blackbirds of 1930 or a Chocolate Dandies (two other shows for which Eubie wrote the music) were intended for all-white audiences, the current production courts black playgoers. As a measure of heightened self-esteem and possibly amused self-parody, blacks are now willing to admit that they can be superb singers and dancers — something that was regarded as a condescending racial stereotype in the '60s.

They are certainly singing and dancing with gut-lusty abandon in Eubie! If the twelve members of the cast were sent to Washington, they could undoubtedly resolve the energy crisis in two hours. Yet as a musical revue without a narrative line or cohesive theme, Eubie! ranks as a mini-clone of Ain 't Misbehavin '. That is not too difficult to understand, since Fats Waller's musical imagination was richer than Blake's in wit, satire and sophistication. Eubie! is thoroughly entertaining and unerringly professional, but it bubbles more often than it blazes.

The magnetic high spots of the show are provided by the brothers Gregory and Maurice Hines, whose feet are tap-dancing marvels of percussive precision.

Lonnie McNeill brings an urbane elegance and a honeyed tongue to In Honeysuckle Time. Sex becomes a four-letter word when musky-voiced Lynnie Godfrey smolders through such numbers as Daddy and I'm Craving for That Kind of Love. Looking like an iridescent flapper from the '20s, Ethel Beatty makes Memories of You a heartbreak blues. Just about the entire cast puts sizzling bawdy English into If You've Never Been Vamped by a Brownskin, You've Never Been Vamped at All. Miss Aggie apparently taught Eubie more than he could ever forget.

Floyd Landis verdict any day now

Wherein I doubt few people will be happy with the result, whichever way it goes


Checking in at Trust But Verify, a decision should soon be announced in the Floyd Landis case.

Today is Day 7 in the Landis decision watch which according to the rules makes the wait three days or less, it won't be long now.

Peloton Jim compares the waiting to another event.

No charges have been filed against the armless man

Wherein local news


I'm not sure if this type of story means I should read the AJC less or more:

“Snellville man dies after butting heads with armless man

By MIKE MORRIS
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Published on: 09/18/07

An autopsy was planned Tuesday to determine what killed a Snellville man who died after being head-butted during a fight with a man with no arms.

I think the Farrelly brothers could take this idea and remake the Every Which Way But Loose movies. Maybe find an armless orangutan, as well. I think that's much better than a tired Fugitive reference.

My thoughts on truffle oil having previously been mentioned

Wherein cranky chef and overrated menu items


Anthony Bourdain:

“Cruelty-free Berkshire pork with shallot reduction and Yukon potato gnocchi: Nobody wants to be cruel, but you did kill the thing—what's cruelty-free about that?

the 64th installment of Tuesday Trivia

Wherein the answers/guesses are arranged in random order


Three answers are correct, the other four probably not so much.

UB40 *** Brandi Chastain *** Never learned to drive a card *** That Indian sex book whose name escapes me *** Pompeii, eruption of; guess two would be sinking of Atlantis *** Usual Suspects *** Circus acts featuring very flexible women

Don't blame your opponent because you have lousy encryption

Wherein also don't see this as a problem

About Belichick.

I guess if it's in the rule book it's a violation; however, my reaction is pretty much what Old33 said at Volokh.com:

“What strikes me about all this is that the defensive signs, etc., are all in plain sight. Anyone on the opposite side of the stadium can watch the signs with binoculars.

If we were talking about stealing an actual playbook, or intercepting the headset communications of the opposing team, I can see how that's a problem.

But where is the expectation of privacy in defensive (or offensive) signs being relayed by hand signal with 75,000+ witnesses?

Is Greg Oden the new Sam Bowie?

Wherein no, because Bowie was drafted second not first, and I doubt the third pick, Al Horford will be the next Michael Jordan


Once again, proof that there are no original thoughts.

• Marcel Mutoni, AOL Sports: Is Greg Oden the modern-day version of Sam Bowie?
  
• Tony Mejia, CBS Sports: Greg Oden is already hearing his name lumped in with Sam Bowie before he's even played a game.
  
• Tim Kawakami, Mercury News: Is this a Sam Bowie/Michael Jordan replay?
  
• Percy Allen, Seattle Times: Some are already comparing it to the 1984 draft, when the Blazers took Kentucky center Sam Bowie second instead of Michael Jordan
  
• Max J. Dickstein, am New YorK: "It's obviously the Jordan curse, and Sam Bowie all over again," he added."
  
• Et cetera

For the record, that isn't Max's line, he's quoting someone else. Figure we should go easy on him because of his horrible last name. It's almost as bad as my real name, Gaylord Assmear.

Savvy marketing or proof that Microsoft is desperate?

Wherein I'm thinking Office 2007 isn't selling so well

[update: speaking of savvy marketing, don't miss the rapping MS DOS 5]

At the mothership I spend a lot of time using Microsoft Office 2003 products. Trying to figure out a task I open up the help, type in some key words, and see what happens. The answer wasn't exactly what I was looking for so I clicked See Also; here are the choices I was given:

• Buy the 2007 Microsoft Office System
  
• Free trial of the 2007 Microsoft Office System

I guess in lieu of being able to answer my query they'd be more than happy to upgrade my software. Very odd. I started opening other applications and choosing help topics at random. Every single one was pimping Office 2007.

Since I led with my conclusions, I'll end with some screen shots.

Suck it, Iowa

Wherein boooooooooooooooo!


University of Iowa has banned a corn-on-the-cob eating contest because administrators feared that it sends the wrong message

Suck it, everyone

Wherein consider this a Fame Whore Defender post
 
This defense of Kathy Griffin has been moved because I just figured out how to get back in to the Fame Whore Defender blog.

What's playing on soquoted radio

Wherein one more post before I contribute to the coarsening of our culture

Ice, Sarah McLachlan
Dans Les Prisons De Nantes, Edith Piaf
Groove Me, Blues Brothers (reggae version)
I'm Not Home #5, Lynda Barry
In the Cube, Fishbone
Electric Counterpoint, Pat Metheny
Pink Flamingos, Rickie Lee Jones
Animaniacs, Animaniacs

One

Wherein block of text for weekly thing I usually don't explain


cherry blossom. OJ Simpson. New Orleans Saints logo. One of those skanky kid shows Disney plays in the evening. blah. I know this from the John Wesley Harding song Talkin' Return Of The Great Folk Scare Blues: Woody Guthrie's guitar killed fascists and crime But in Hastings, East Sussex, South of England My guitar killed time…. All led their respective leagues in rebounding for two or more seasons.

10 songs in 60 seconds

Wherein I think I may have made this too easy

I took ten songs, clipped out a six second cut from each song, and strung them all together. Six seconds is a lot of time, so all the songs are covers. First to get all 10 should get some sort of prize; I'll see what I can do. If you can't guess all ten, then count one point each for song title, cover artist, and original artist. Total of 30 points are available. No googling, honor system.

If there's any interest I'll try to spice it up for next week.

Play: 10 songs in 60 seconds

Friday, September 14, 2007: due to apparent lack of interest in this I see no point in giving the answers.

Saturday, September 29, 2007: answers are now in the comments.

I shot the Sharif but I did not shoot the mujahideen

Wherein a headline looking for a story

Searching for...

Wherein need to find an album


Need some help. If anyone comes across this, I'd be very interested in it.

Eubie!, the original Broadway Cast album.

Update: Bought a copy off EBAY. I swear I'd looked there before and found nothing. I soon as I posted this request I found two on EBAY and one at Flipside Records (http://www.flipmall.com/).

The Longines Symphonette Society proudly presents the Nat King Cole Treasury

Wherein a boxed set from 1966



I grabbed the photo from 1stintunes.com and they've also recreated the 11 pages of liner notes. Looks like they scanned the photos and typed the text.

As long as I've mentioned that site, also take a look at Dusty Groove America -- Jazz, Soul, Funk, Hip Hop, Brazil, Latin, and more on LP and CD.

Meant to add, I'm ripping the albums and went looking for the cover so I wouldn't have to get the camera out.

Reservations are made for the next 4 months

Wherein this should be fun


From the AJC, Element Gastro chef adds science to seasonal menu:

“True foodies looking for the latest, most cutting-edge culinary experience won't want to miss this. For the next four months, chef Richard Blais of Element Gastro Lounge and Food Lab at 11th and West Peachtree streets will host a dinner designed around a different "secret ingredient." In keeping with the name of his new place, those ingredients are also elements.

Blais isn't being too specific on how each element will show up at the table. But in the case of helium, he's willing to go on the record to say, "I'll be the first chef to use helium in a restaurant, or at least, outside of a research and development lab. I've been using liquid nitrogen for some time, so I'm ready for helium."

The liquid form of helium is very expensive, Blais adds, but he plans to use it to make a few things float. "And I'm sure we will incorporate some sort of high-pitched voice aspect in the proceedings," he said. "It would only be natural."

From the website for Element:

“SEPTEMBER 20 - ELEMENTAL DINNER: NITROGEN 
Did your mother have to push you to finish your school science project when you were a kid? That’s not the case for Chef Richard Blais of Element Gastro Lounge + Food Lab.  Mixing food and science has been his passion for years and now you can see him in action.  Join Chef Blais and his team for an “Elemental Dinner,” where the guest of honor is not a celebrity, it is Nitrogen.  Beginning at 7:00 p.m., guests will enjoy a 7-course dinner with a wine pairing option, featuring Nitrogen as the main ingredient. Sound intriguing? We thought so! This special dinner is limited to 10 lucky culinary enthusiasts, so make your reservation today.
OCTOBER 18 - ELEMENTAL DINNER: HELIUM 
Beginning at 7:00 p.m., guests will enjoy a 7-course dinner with a wine pairing option, featuring Helium as the main ingredient. This special dinner is limited to 10 lucky culinary enthusiasts, so make your reservation today.
NOVEMBER 15 - ELEMENTAL DINNER: OXYGEN 
Beginning at 7:00 p.m., guests will enjoy a 7-course dinner with a wine pairing option, featuring Oxygen as the main ingredient. This special dinner is limited to 10 lucky culinary enthusiasts, so make your reservation today.
DECEMBER 20 - ELEMENTAL DINNER: GOLD, FRANKENSENCE & MYRRH 
Beginning at 7:00 p.m., guests will enjoy a 7-course dinner with a wine pairing option, featuring Gold, Frankincense & Myrrh as the main ingredients. This special dinner is limited to 10 lucky culinary enthusiasts, so make your reservation today.

We've eaten there a couple times for dinner and once for Sunday brunch. Amazing food that's fun to eat. The brunch might be the best deal in town; five of us spent under a $100 and ordered practically the entire menu (might have been 3 or 4 dishes we were too full to try). It's a blast with 3-4 people splitting dishes and working your way through the menu. After two dinners we've gone through probably 30 dishes without repeating anything. Then there's all the extra dishes the kitchen gifts you with--apple "caviar," caramel corn, liquid nitrogen margaritas, and my favorite, the transparently thin slice of chorizo with olive oil powder and chocolate. Eating should always be this fun and challenge your concepts of flavor and texture. Not that eveything is weird and different. Plenty of dishes a timid eater could enjoy.

Having enjoyed his tasting menu at ONE.midtown kitchen, we are very excited about this. Yes, we're confirmed for all four nights and will try to take notes. Maybe pictures. But the food comes first.

What the hell does VH1 know about music?

Wherein is the answer (A) A little (B) Some (C)VH who?


At A List of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago everyone is picking their top songs from the 1990s. I didn't realize we were supposed to pick from VH1's list of crap, so I picked songs that are actually fun to listen to:

• Rub 'Til It Bleeds, PJ Harvey
  
• Mint Juleps and Needles, Brenda Kahn
  
• Girlfriend, Matthew Sweet
  
• Gunslinging Bird, Chuck D, Bill Frisell, Michael Blair, Don Alias, Greg Cohen, Art Baron (from Weird Nightmare, Meditations on Mingus)
  
• Window Seat, John Wesley Harding
  
• Fuck the Creationists, MC Hawking
  
• I Am Wondering, Laura Love
  
• Beeswing, Richard Thompson
  
• Over the Rainbow, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
  
• Not My Brotha, Me Phi Me
  
• Can I Kick It?, A Tribe Called Quest

None of these made VH1's list proving that channel is run by brain dead morons. What sort of gerbil would ever pick Alanis Morrisette over PJ Harvey? I wouldn't consider this list definitive, but not bad for 10 minutes of iPod scrolling. Put that on a CD, crank the car stereo, and start bouncing down the street.

update. Others to be considered:

• Personal Jesus, Depeche Mode
  
• Acoustic Motorbike, Luka Bloom
  
• Brrrlak!, Zap Mama
  
• Prodigal Daughter, Michelle Shocked
  
• Egoverride, Bob Mould
  
• Eurotrash Girl, Cracker
  
• Buck Naked, David Byrne
  
• Italian Leather Sofa, Cake
  
• Feels Like Home, Randy Newman/Bonnie Raitt (Faust)
  
• Gett Off, Prince
  
• Superman Song, Crash Test Dummies
  
• California Uber Alles, Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy
  
• Big Spender, The Robustos
  
• What's the Buzz, Indigo Girls, et. al. (Jesus Christ Superstar)
  
• Happy Phantom, Tori Amos
  
• Hip Length, Ursula 1000
  
• Hotwax, Beck
  
• Never Be, Prudence Johnson and Gary Rue
  
• Second Time Around, Rickie Lee Jones
  
• Pray to the Junkiemaker, Fishbone
  
• So In Love, k.d. Lang (Red Hot + Blue: A Tribute To Cole Porter)
  
• True Dreams of Wichita, Soul Coughing
  
• Foolish Love, Rufus Wainwright
  
• Sledgehammer, Peter Gabriel
  
• Someone To Love, Charles Brown
  
• 20th Century Man, Ray Davies (The Storyteller)
  
• 911 is a Joke, Duran Duran
  
• Moby Dick, Dread Zeppelin
  
• Mistress of the Senator, Audra McDonald
  
• I Know, Dionne Farris

"I liked the book" -- bill from some blog

The other day I passed a car with a Dave Matthews t-shirt on a hanger. It looked to be pressed and was from a 2001 concert. It all just seemed very, very strange.


Dr. Frank:

“ When I told her about it, Erika said, drily, "you are really living the East Bay dream," meaning that there is probably some kid out in Michigan or somewhere who really does imagine that that's what it's like to live in Berkeley. Every time you go down to the Mexican restaurant, there's two thirds of Green Day and Dr. Frank and Jeff Ott's dad, all hanging around wearing their Gilman era T shirts.

"Good farms and farmers markets are fragile things"

Wherein interesting and mentions a couple of books I'll probably have to buy


Russ Parsons scolds Michael Ruhlman:

“ The first thing that needs to be said is that contrary to popular opinion, American agriculture is not a broken system. It is a system that is performing perfectly at what it is designed to do, which is deliver high quality (at least in terms of nutrition and safety) produce at the lowest possible price. While malnutrition was unfortunately common in this country a century ago, it has all but disappeared today. And we pay far less for food than any other industrialized nation (and about half what we paid before World War II). The problems that you and I find with it are the results of unintended consequences of this. Primarily, that it is very hard to grow fruits and vegetables with great flavor when everything is predicated on the lowest bid.

At this point, a  brief side trip into the term “Agribusiness.” In the first place, of course, it is redundant. Agriculture that is not based on business is gardening. Farms need to be profitable in order to exist. Furthermore, contrary to the popular conception of corporate-based farming, in the state of California (which I continue to remind, grows more than half of all the fruits and vegetables in the country), more than 90% of all farms are owned by either families or single operators. Small farmers? In most cases. Despite the image of thousand-acre spreads, the average farm in California is less than 400 acres. And even this number is somewhat misleading because it is skewed by a few very large cattle and grain farms. Three-fourths of the farms in California are less than 200 acres.

As long as I’m going all wonky on you, let me throw in a couple of other statistics: the average fruit and vegetable farmer working in standard agriculture realizes about 20% of the retail price of the food they grow. And according to the most recent Census of Agriculture, 75% of farm family income today comes from non-ag sources. Think about that for a minute. That means that every farm family not only has one person working full-time off the farm, it means the other partner is working part-time as well. As you can imagine, with these tightening profit margins, more and more people are getting out of farming altogether. The size of farms is increasing as growers try to realize some advantage from scale. This cannot bode well for the future flavor of our fruits and vegetables.

The David Letterman Oscar inspiration

Wherein some of this made me laugh...I'll admit it


Remember when David Letterman hosted the 1995 Oscars? And he started off with the comic masterpiece, Oprah-Uma? Just to refresh your memory, go view this minute long clip on google video.

I'll wait.

Finished?

How about now?

When I heard him do that, I immediately thought of this comedy album I bought in 1977, Trust Me. Basically a Vaughn Meader-esque take on Jimmy Carter and his family produced by an Augusta, GA , morning DJ. Later, I'll unroll the whole record; until then here's the one clip that I think will convince anyone that either David Letterman or someone on his writing staff also owned this album. I give you Idi, Meet Eddie.

No. Not ever. Never

Wherein their coffee also sucks

Iamnotfakesteve

“ Coffee 2.0, Starbucks integration “When you get near Starbucks a fifth button will come up in the WiFi music store — you may have been in a Starbucks wondering what song is that playing? Now you can buy it with a tap of your finger”

That's considered a selling feature? Even discounting the Zune-like hackery of partnering up with lameass caffeineted beverages and small hard drives (yes, I know it's Flash and there are battery life considerations, but I don't want to choose my music I want to load all of it, and screw you, Lileks, with your daily device), there's also the 15 things iPod touch is missing: iPod touch is NOT iPhone without the phone. No Bluetooth? No Google Maps? No email? What the hell good is this thing.

I'm grumpy because I really, really wanted to want one and I can't come up with any reason to talk myself into it. That's the problem with raised expectations. I hoped Apple would deliver the world and all I got was North America.

Funny: (Wonder if Starbucks will burn CDs the same way it burns its coffee beans?)

Also funny: Anyway, it's been a pretty good week. We're screwing everyone in sight. We screwed you. We screwed AT&T. We screwed NBC. Man oh man. I feel like Ron Jeremy. Or is it Bill Gates? If we make it to the end of this week without angry picketers chanting outside our campus I'll be shocked.

Name That Band

I have no idea if this is easy or hard


You'll recognize the song, the band I'm not so sure about. Even if you don't know the band's name, I bet you've heard their most famous song...though maybe 15 years after it was first popular. So, one point for naming the other song, two point for knowing the band, and three points for piece of vinyl you own by them.

play that song

Clues

1. No, it isn't the Violent Femmes
   
2. From a country that became substantially larger in 1990
   
3. According to Wiki, the song you've probably heard of is "...often given as an example of a song that is extremely repetitive or devoid of creative talent"

You could google that phrase and get the answer. Or wait until tomorrow when it will be revealed along with my favorite song of theirs.

Sorry, Apple. iPod touch does not equal pony

Wherein only 16GB? Guess I'm not ready to trade in my 40GB 3rd generation model


Check out coverage from Ars Technica with photos. Definately some cool stuff, just nothing I want need.

SCANDAL: Roger Clemens guilty of using performance enhancing drugs

Wherein ended up with a bit of a mixed message below, but I'm sure we can all agree that it's impossible to spell professional sports without using the letters "hypocritical jackholes"


Source: NY Times.

Come on Major League Baseball, suspend his doping ass. This is absolutely no different from any other player using steroids or HGH. Why do athletes use performance enhancing substances? Because it allows the body to heal faster and enables the athlete to keep performing at as high a level as long as possible.

“ [Clemens] added, “It’s wear and tear, and we’re going to deal with it aggressively, as fast as possible, so I can continue on.”

How's he going to do that? A little ice, a little heat; maybe some extra vitamins and a wheat germ shake? No, he'll take a big ass needle, shove it in his body and pump in a bunch of chemicals.

There's responsible use when you push your body a little harder. Then there's irresponsible use when you push your body into possible permananent damage. Washington Post:

“"Even if it takes multiple [shots], I'm willing to deal with that," Clemens said. "I'm not running out on these guys now. Until I can't do it any more, I'm going to continue to push forward."

Oh, won't someone think of the children. Here's a Public Service Announcement for them:

Hi, I'm Roger Clemens. Been working out extra hard, putting those extra miles in at the track? Bet your body feels sore and your joints ache. Maybe you'd like to take it easy and rest up for a day or so. Sure, if you're a pussy. Be like me, tell your body "You no help me now, I say, fuck you body, I do it myself...along with this suitcase of pharmaceuticals." Cortisone, what to take when your body won't listen to you.

If I gave awards, you'd be in the running for lamest comment ever

Wherein source link


I hope a little Tuesday Trivia XLII helps smooth out your dreaded return to the office

1. The Wonder Years
2. St. Louis
3. Planetarium
4. Animal Farm -- one of these days I should read this book
5. Syria (Sahara?)
6. Little League baseball
7. Almost thought that Burt/Bert was the connection. Couldn't find a Burt in Toy Story 2, though. No guess on #7, so either five or six correct.

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I don't get LOLCATS. LOLAUTHORS isn't much better.

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SEC, ACC, Big 10 comma fans of. Thoughts. First of all, college football fans are a pain in the ass. Living in Atlanta, a nexus of ACC and SEC territory, I can honestly say fans of both are insane with SEC fans being marginally more stupid (applied conference-wide, I think "world class jerks" is accurate). Big 10 sports are perennially overrated and insecure. Never bet on a Big 10 basketball team to make it past the second round of the NCAA basketball tournament.

I am a former ACC fan, college basketball variety. I say former because as far as I'm concerned the conference no longer exists. The true conference will always be Clemson, Duke, Maryland, North Carolina, North Carolina State, Wake Forest, and Ga Tech. Despite my current indifference, I was glad to see Ga. Tech stomp Notre Dame. Mostly because it's always a good thing when Notre Dame loses. It's also always a good thing when the Dallas Cowboys and the Los Angeles Dodgers lose. I don't know where this animosity comes from and wonder if regression therapy would help.

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By the weekend?